Something to Think About

We human beings are complicated creatures. We approach death in the way we have approached living and according to our personality. Our belief systems are part of that living. Sometimes...

I think we healthcare workers rely on our words as our offering. Explanations, suggestions, instructions, even using words to offer condolences and trying to comfort. And yes, words are a...

If you have a good, amicable relationship then get them together and say, with caring in your heart, "I am going to tell you some things I have learned about...

How tragic that none can come forward and say, "Your father is dying. Let's stop all these extras and keep him comfortable”. Family as well as many individual physicians do...

In our medical society today, it seems to be very difficult for physicians to tell patients and/or families that death is approaching; That this special person will die, and probably...

There is a huge void in our medical system that so many families living with dementia fall into. These families have a loved one too sick and require too much...

"How do you reach out to a non-religious person who believes the end is the end?" You don't...

Dying is not a medical event. Dying is a communal, social event. Nursing and physicians are part of care, but not the all encompassing focus. The main focus of end...

By Your Side offers guidance in the area of making choices: cure, life sustaining, comfort care, making advanced directives, and funeral planning. It details signs of approaching death (what to look...

I often get the question, "How do I start an end of life discussion? How do I get my family to talk about what they want their dying to be...

 Know that all of these signs of approaching death, whether indicating months or weeks, are just guideposts. Some people will show all of them...

Part of grieving is how you channel the feelings. Channel your anger, your disdain into how well you live your life now. Let your life experience be the learning tool...

"When do we say our final goodbye to someone who is dying?" Barbara Karnes talks about how we say goodbye in stages. We say goodbye many, many times.  

...Then a physician says “I can’t fix you. You are going to die sometime soon”, it is generally not said so bluntly. Actually often it is not said at all....

Keeping Secrets: “Don’t tell mom.” Don’t say that she could die.” Don’t talk to her about “sad” things.” “Pretend everything is going to be alright.”  Mom lives inside of her body....

 Know that all of these signs of approaching death, whether indicating months or weeks, are just guideposts. Some people will show all of them...

When someone we know or are close to dies we expect to grieve. We recognize our sadness but often we don’t recognize our impulsiveness to clean the house, or our...

First, what is meant by “dying person”? In the months before death most people really don’t believe they are dying. “Other people die, not me. There will be a cure,...

Our children are not supposed to die before we do. I cannot think of any grief more intense than watching our child deteriorate before our eyes. We grieve their dying...

Sudden death by accident, suicide and certainly by violence intensifies those normal grief responses. Everything we feel with normal grief is as if we are being held under a magnifying...

Our job as an end of life specialist is to address the elephant in the room, to be direct and honest in the gentlest way possible. We are not doing...