Something to Think About

When we see our special person struggling, we, the watchers, think something pathological is happening or we think the professionals are not doing enough to provide proper care...

We used to have role models on what dying really looks like. People died at home, in their own bed. Family and friends gathered — held a vigil, so to speak. When...

In the hours to minutes before death, gather family and significant others. Encourage each person to spend some time alone with the person dying. This is the time to talk...

I see Death Cafes as the start of a conversation; the start of opening ourselves up to exploring end of life issues; the start of breaking the belief that if I talk...

Our body is programmed to die. We are born. We experience, and then we die...

Death has touched us all, some more recently than others.  Grief has no actual timeline, no end point where we are suddenly “fine”.  Each of us responds to our loss...

Our job as end of life workers is to educate. We walk a thin line. Our words can be heard and misunderstood so easily. They can be interpreted differently than...

Medicine and medical technology can prolong our life but not indefinitely and it is generally at the expense of our quality of living. Or we can reframe how we think...

We tend to play the “elephant in the room” game at the mention of our missing loved one. “If we don’t talk about how sad we are feeling we won’t...

I also thought as we get older that question tends to come out of hiding more easily. The older we are the more the question lies in the back of...

 Know that all of these signs of approaching death, whether indicating months or weeks, are just guideposts. Some people will show all of them...

Part of grieving is how you channel the feelings. Channel your anger, your disdain into how well you live your life now. Let your life experience be the learning tool...

Unfortunately, children die. We are born, we experience, and then we die. That's the name of this game called life...

Maybe, at some point, you can find a place even though you move frequently. A place that has meaning to them or to you. Plant a tree in a park...

First, if you don’t have to clean out belongings, don’t for awhile, wait even months if necessary. There can be great comfort found in putting on an unwashed sweater of...

I was Zooming with a hospice today for Q & A’s and the subject of not being able to use volunteers because of Covid came up. WHOA!!! What do you...

I get a lot of letters like the one I’ve edited below. We, as a culture, are so unprepared for witnessing a death. We have no accurate role models. We...

 Know that all of these signs of approaching death, whether indicating months or weeks, are just guideposts. Some people will show all of them...

When someone we know or are close to dies we expect to grieve. We recognize our sadness but often we don’t recognize our impulsiveness to clean the house, or our...

Sudden death by accident, suicide and certainly by violence intensifies those normal grief responses. Everything we feel with normal grief is as if we are being held under a magnifying...

Our job as an end of life specialist is to address the elephant in the room, to be direct and honest in the gentlest way possible. We are not doing...