I was in the shower this morning thinking it is time to start creating a routine, a pattern for this life of physical distancing.
We are creatures of habit and after almost three weeks of being in my house with only my husband and two cats I realized it was time to get organized.
So far I have been pretty much aimless, skipping showers, wearing my slippers, catching up on my recorded TV shows, texting and phoning friends, as well as doing a bit of blog and social media work/interactions. For an A type personality that is pretty much a slug.
So, I washed my hair, got out of the shower, put on makeup, put on a sweater I have never worn (saving it for a special occasion), put on a necklace with it, and socks (so I will be ready to go outside for a walk in the yard later).
I am now writing this. Here is what I am thinking: The way I have lived my life up to now will probably be changed forever. How long physical distancing and isolation (because that is what it feels like, isolation) will last is indefinite, probably months, many months. It is time for me to develop some new habits, some new routines.
I typed out a list of “to do” and “to think” for this new life pattern I have found myself in. I am sharing my incomplete list with the idea that I am not the only one grappling with this unsettling change of events, that I am not the only one searching to find order in a world that is experiencing massive chaos.
Here is my list. Would you consider making your lists and sharing them with me? You will probably have ideas that I want to incorporate into mine. We can call it community support for each other.
PHYSICALLY:
- Get dressed, comb my hair, brush my teeth.
- Eat three meals a day with a small (operative word here small) treat at the end of the day. I’m calling it comfort food.
- Clean my space - dust, vacuum, sweep, clean toilets, empty trash.
- Be mobile, walk, move about even if it is in circles, breathe fresh air (an open window, a porch, a backyard walk).
EMOTIONALLY:
- Connect with others by phone, text, email, Skype, FaceTime, Zoom, etc. We human beings need others.
- Reach out to others, make the first call, keep connected.
- Watch my squirrels and the birds at our feeder.
- Find something to laugh about, with, or at. My cats and husband pretty much keep me entertained. Now I just have to appreciate their antics instead of get frustrated.
MENTALLY:
- Read (I am on #14 of the Jesse Stone Series).
- Watch some TV (I’ve underlined some. Don’t want to be a “couch potato").
- Color in my coloring books (calming, distracting, time filling).
- Watch the news so I am informed but remind myself not to get totally emerged in the illusion. Try to separate truth from fiction.
SPIRITUALLY:
- Look out my window and touch into the serenity of nature.
- Appreciate the breath of life that I have, the support, the comforts, the people.
- Touch into the smallness of my life situation compared to the enormity of the universe.
- Remind myself frequently that one of my core beliefs is in Divine Order, that all is as it should be, and that I only have a minuscule piece of a billion piece jigsaw puzzle called Life.
14 comments
Martha Dismukes
Dear Barbara, Your writings have been a source for me for several years. I did not have access to your materials during my years as a professional counselor for Birmingham Public Schools where I was a member of the BPS Grief Response Team nor as a minister’s wife. A wonderful hospice counselor introduced me to your work when my mother was in her last days — what a blessing! I am now retired and recommend your materials to anyone dealing with end-times or death. Thank you so much and may God bless you!
Dear Barbara, Your writings have been a source for me for several years. I did not have access to your materials during my years as a professional counselor for Birmingham Public Schools where I was a member of the BPS Grief Response Team nor as a minister’s wife. A wonderful hospice counselor introduced me to your work when my mother was in her last days — what a blessing! I am now retired and recommend your materials to anyone dealing with end-times or death. Thank you so much and may God bless you!
Jan North
Thank you, Barbara, I am new to this site. I have worked as an RN in Hospice and also volunteered for them. I am in the process of becoming a patient myself as I am in end-stage Emphysema myself. So thanks for all you do and I am sure your books and booklets will be good for me and my family to read as well. I ordered a book and some booklets today. I look forward to reading your blogs as well as learning from you. A few things that help me are connecting with my families like facetime and Zoom are coming in handy and help with the loneliness. God Bless, stay safe Jan
Thank you, Barbara, I am new to this site. I have worked as an RN in Hospice and also volunteered for them. I am in the process of becoming a patient myself as I am in end-stage Emphysema myself. So thanks for all you do and I am sure your books and booklets will be good for me and my family to read as well. I ordered a book and some booklets today. I look forward to reading your blogs as well as learning from you. A few things that help me are connecting with my families like facetime and Zoom are coming in handy and help with the loneliness. God Bless, stay safe Jan
Jan North
Thank you, Barbara, I am new to this site. I have worked as an RN in Hospice and also volunteered for them. I am in the process of becoming a patient myself as I am in end-stage Emphysema myself. So thanks for all you do and I am sure your books and booklets will be good for me and my family to read as well. I ordered a book and some booklets today. I look forward to reading your blogs as well as learning from you. A few things that help me are connecting with my families like facetime and Zoom are coming in handy and help with the loneliness. God Bless, stay safe Jan
Thank you, Barbara, I am new to this site. I have worked as an RN in Hospice and also volunteered for them. I am in the process of becoming a patient myself as I am in end-stage Emphysema myself. So thanks for all you do and I am sure your books and booklets will be good for me and my family to read as well. I ordered a book and some booklets today. I look forward to reading your blogs as well as learning from you. A few things that help me are connecting with my families like facetime and Zoom are coming in handy and help with the loneliness. God Bless, stay safe Jan
mary lou kotz
I am new with your books Barbara. I will definitely order some as a CCMin my church. Mary Lou
I am new with your books Barbara. I will definitely order some as a CCMin my church. Mary Lou
Kathy Behrendt
Thank you Barbara for sharing your wisdom from life experience. I have learned do much from you over 20+ years in hospice work. Your booklet “Gone From My Sight” has helped our families over the years, ThankYou!
I love your list of how your being intentional at this time and will incorporate some of yours into my days.
Two things that are helpful to me are prayer and deep breathing.
Blessing as you Journey.
Thank you Barbara for sharing your wisdom from life experience. I have learned do much from you over 20+ years in hospice work. Your booklet “Gone From My Sight” has helped our families over the years, ThankYou!
I love your list of how your being intentional at this time and will incorporate some of yours into my days.
Two things that are helpful to me are prayer and deep breathing.
Blessing as you Journey.
barbara
Hi Valeria, yes, it will be harder to live with grief when traditions are removed. We rely on tradition. Now you will have to think “outside the box” and find something meaningful to create a memory. A Zoom get together to support each other, a postponement until gatherings can occur again (although that won’t be the same; more mental than emotional support). I wish I had clear, precise guidance for you. Everyone is making our new life up as we go along. My blessings are with you and your family. Barbara
Hi Valeria, yes, it will be harder to live with grief when traditions are removed. We rely on tradition. Now you will have to think “outside the box” and find something meaningful to create a memory. A Zoom get together to support each other, a postponement until gatherings can occur again (although that won’t be the same; more mental than emotional support). I wish I had clear, precise guidance for you. Everyone is making our new life up as we go along. My blessings are with you and your family. Barbara
Dennis Hogan
I am a Hospice Chaplain. Mos of our patients still want to see me, even though I have to wear a mask and gloves. I am reaching out more to those families that have lost loved ones to see how they a faring through this. Personally, I am going to use this time to rededicate myself to better health. My goal is to get up early to work out with my workout group, via ZOOM. I will eventually work up to five workout meetings a week. I still get to work from the office for now, but am set up at home if I need to work from home. I do need to continue to hear your helpful and much needed words of encouragement. Stay healthy and be blessed and Thank you!
Living to Serve Others,
Dennis
I am a Hospice Chaplain. Mos of our patients still want to see me, even though I have to wear a mask and gloves. I am reaching out more to those families that have lost loved ones to see how they a faring through this. Personally, I am going to use this time to rededicate myself to better health. My goal is to get up early to work out with my workout group, via ZOOM. I will eventually work up to five workout meetings a week. I still get to work from the office for now, but am set up at home if I need to work from home. I do need to continue to hear your helpful and much needed words of encouragement. Stay healthy and be blessed and Thank you!
Living to Serve Others,
Dennis
Shelly Cole
Hi Barbara, as usual, you offer relevant and thoughtful information. We all thank you for that!
Personally, what makes such a difference for me, including reducing any anxieties that I might feel, is prayer. I understand that not everyone believes in God, and I’m in no way trying to push something onto anyone. But I personally will be praying for our country and our leaders.
I truly hope that everyone stays safe. Bless you Barbara for what you do!
Hi Barbara, as usual, you offer relevant and thoughtful information. We all thank you for that!
Personally, what makes such a difference for me, including reducing any anxieties that I might feel, is prayer. I understand that not everyone believes in God, and I’m in no way trying to push something onto anyone. But I personally will be praying for our country and our leaders.
I truly hope that everyone stays safe. Bless you Barbara for what you do!
Valeria Morahan
We are facing the reality of my stepson dying before the isolation restrictions here in Australia are lifted. We can currently have 10 at a funeral…which translates to 7 once we count the celebrant and two funeral staff.
I fear my husband will grieve twice and feel anger twice; being cheated his son’s ;life and a decent funeral. I am exploring what the Crematorium can do re online access for mourners and also how he would feel about a delayed wake. :(
We are facing the reality of my stepson dying before the isolation restrictions here in Australia are lifted. We can currently have 10 at a funeral…which translates to 7 once we count the celebrant and two funeral staff.
I fear my husband will grieve twice and feel anger twice; being cheated his son’s ;life and a decent funeral. I am exploring what the Crematorium can do re online access for mourners and also how he would feel about a delayed wake. :(
Pamela Harper
Thank you, Barbara. We are all in this together.
Thank you, Barbara. We are all in this together.
Pamela Harper
Thank you, Barbara. We are all in this together.
Thank you, Barbara. We are all in this together.
Judy Lengieza
Dear Barbara, I have spent the past 10 days on home quarantine due to a respiratory illness, it has come to me that those families who have lost a family member in the past 6 months may be struggling to get through this pandemic alone for the first time. I have asked our bereavement team to reach out to them sooner rather than later. I have also thought that those families of patients dying of COVID 19 May never have the benefit of the Hospice team surrounding them with strength and comfort. I look forward to being able to help in even a small way. (Back to work Monday). Thank you for all of your comforting words and insight
Dear Barbara, I have spent the past 10 days on home quarantine due to a respiratory illness, it has come to me that those families who have lost a family member in the past 6 months may be struggling to get through this pandemic alone for the first time. I have asked our bereavement team to reach out to them sooner rather than later. I have also thought that those families of patients dying of COVID 19 May never have the benefit of the Hospice team surrounding them with strength and comfort. I look forward to being able to help in even a small way. (Back to work Monday). Thank you for all of your comforting words and insight
Barbaraberck
Don’t forget the closets, drawers and cupboards!!
Make time for fresh air and exercise.
Don’t forget the closets, drawers and cupboards!!
Make time for fresh air and exercise.
Lili Mullins
Dear Barbara. I have been your friend and you my mentor as I have navigated my career as a hospice nurse for 12 years. I handed out your booklets in the Dallas Ft Worth area hundreds of times. Those booklets were some families affirmative that they were doing what is best. I am now retired.
Your insights today are so on point for me too. I have anxiety about these times. My garden , chickens, horses and dogs are my comfort/distraction during the day until my husband comes into the main area after home officing all day. Our time together becomes so precious.
Please keep the insights coming. I think this is going to be a long haul.
Warmest regards, Lili
Dear Barbara. I have been your friend and you my mentor as I have navigated my career as a hospice nurse for 12 years. I handed out your booklets in the Dallas Ft Worth area hundreds of times. Those booklets were some families affirmative that they were doing what is best. I am now retired.
Your insights today are so on point for me too. I have anxiety about these times. My garden , chickens, horses and dogs are my comfort/distraction during the day until my husband comes into the main area after home officing all day. Our time together becomes so precious.
Please keep the insights coming. I think this is going to be a long haul.
Warmest regards, Lili