Something to Think About

You asked why your relationship to your hospice work was affected following the death of your dad. I think because every time you entered a patient's home and life it...

Zooming is certainly helpful but know as she progresses toward death she will not be able to respond, even to know you.  Continue the zooming and talking to her even when...

Their body is trying to keep going even while it is shutting down. The body's defenses are doing whatever they can to keep the body functioning THAT is why there...

Keeping Secrets: “Don’t tell mom.” Don’t say that she could die.” Don’t talk to her about “sad” things.” “Pretend everything is going to be alright.”  Mom lives inside of her body....

I get a lot of letters like the one I’ve edited below. We, as a culture, are so unprepared for witnessing a death. We have no accurate role models. We...

 Know that all of these signs of approaching death, whether indicating months or weeks, are just guideposts. Some people will show all of them...

When someone we know or are close to dies we expect to grieve. We recognize our sadness but often we don’t recognize our impulsiveness to clean the house, or our...

We believe from all signs that death is rapidly approaching. Then one morning they seem to actually wake up. They are less confused,  they want to eat, or get up....

There are so many reasons your father could have been receiving medicine by a “needle”. I am not fond of IV or giving medication by a “needle” as end of...

First, what is meant by “dying person”? In the months before death most people really don’t believe they are dying. “Other people die, not me. There will be a cure,...

There is a labor to dying. It is hard work for us to get out of our body (some harder than others). Think of the little chick that works, struggles...

Our children are not supposed to die before we do. I cannot think of any grief more intense than watching our child deteriorate before our eyes. We grieve their dying...

Sudden death by accident, suicide and certainly by violence intensifies those normal grief responses. Everything we feel with normal grief is as if we are being held under a magnifying...

Our job as an end of life specialist is to address the elephant in the room, to be direct and honest in the gentlest way possible. We are not doing...

People are dying and in a manner we are not used to. We, in America, have become accustomed to having our loved one either at home with family close, or...

Hospice Bereavement support, as well as any bereavement support program (church, Community Support, Senior Activity Program) is important during the best of times. Now it is vital.  Here are my recommendations;...

We bring our fears, our childhood experiences with death, our culture, our belief systems, and our stereotypes to the bedside of the dying and the dead. Generally, none of that...

Hospices seem to be struggling with how to provide services now that being in homes and facilities is not an option. When we cannot rely on routines, when there is...

Our frontline workers: nurses, nursing assistants, doctors, hospital employees, first responders, housekeeping, grocery, delivery, and transportation personnel, all people who are out front while most of us shelter in place,...

During this time of crisis work it is hard to remember to take care of yourself. There doesn’t seem time for that but if you don’t at least try to...

People don’t die like they do in the movies—alive one minute, saying something profound and dead the next. There is a way that the body dies. A way it is...