Something to Think About

support people who are dyingBeing involved with end of life care is not something most people want to do, so what brings you? 

Once we get up the courage to call hospice, we want to see you immediately.  Actually, we needed to see you, hear your guidance and advice, and receive your services yesterday. Families...

Now I have to learn how to be a widow. How to create a new life, a new way of being. I am truly alone. 

Death has touched us all, some more recently than others.  Grief has no actual timeline, no end point where we are suddenly “fine”.  Each of us responds to our loss...

The physician is frontline, the top of the pyramid in healthcare. All care follows from there. The physician can set the tone for the entire patient experience. 

Our job as end of life workers is to educate. We walk a thin line. Our words can be heard and misunderstood so easily. They can be interpreted differently than...

Why is the patient being discharged, you ask? Is it because the patient just didn’t decline as rapidly as expected? Yes, that can be the situation...

Grief is like an open wound. When we healthcare workers experience a personal loss, every patient scrapes open our own wound of personal grief.  

The role of any end of life worker is to begin teaching  immediately, on the first visit -- teaching about approaching death, what to look for, and what to do. That’s...

Our role models from movies and TV show us that dying is gentle, often poetic, certainly not scary or messy. Movies make dying look comfortable.

As caregivers, we want so much to do the “right thing” for our special person. We know death is coming but still try to do all we can to stop...

I knew all the signs of approaching death, of labor beginning. What I didn’t know was how much we don’t want to see those signs, and by not wanting to see them,...

Addressing the timelines of approaching death also neutralizes the false hope that our person will get better, that there is more time.

Tell her honestly what you are feeling and ask for help. Just FYI: she can sign on for hospice and if she felt she needed to go to the emergency...

When we begin the gradual dying process our personality tends to intensify. If we are an angry person we will get angrier. If we have a gentle personality we will...

Not everyone who is dying has pain. Disease causes pain. If pain is not present, a narcotic is not appropriate (except a tiny bit can ease labored breathing is present...

When doctors and healthcare professionals place a number on how long someone has to live they are doing that person a disservice.

We start off alone, then we have Mom and Dad, then family, friends, then the world of school, activities,and involvement in the bigger world around us. When we are leaving, we...

Anger in caregiving generally comes from a place of frustration, of fear, of sadness, of tiredness. All sorts of feelings with no outlet so they come bursting out.

Dying patterns are centered around food, sleep and socialization. Assess those three areas and you can track the dying process.

The heart is still beating even when our less sophisticated machines don’t register them. The breathing will get slower and slower and the time between breaths will get longer and...