I so appreciate the many, many people that responded to last week’s I Am Now Reaching Out To You Fellow Grievers blog. I want to share with you some of the suggestions you have shared with me. Ideas for filling a huge space left empty by the death of someone who made us a “we.”
Grief is a lot about the empty space they left behind. It is learning how to fill the space we had when we were a “we” that has become a space of emptiness now that we are an "I."
I think the major revelation you all gave me with your suggestions is there are many kinds of “we,” not just a partner “we.” Baxter cat and I are a “we.” Actually so are the birds, squirrels and fish that I am responsible for. Family makes me a “we.” My friends make me a “we.” You see what I am saying. I am not as alone as I thought.
Here is some more of what your comments have shown me:
*Pets bring comfort and purpose during grief and try to make sense of where life has brought us.
*Churches play a very big role in helping people adjust to the new life of grieving and aloneness. Many provide bereavement support groups, group gatherings for socialization through Bible studies, book clubs, and art classes to name a few.
*Senior community living can provide companionship, a sense of community and break the isolation felt. They can also address the challenges of single living such as cooking for one or filling the hours of the day.
*Community activities fill the time between breakfast and bedtime. You can volunteer your time and energy helping at a church, reading at a library, serving or preparing food at a shelter, or even caring for animals at an animal shelter.
*You can learn new skills or take up new projects: crafts, needlepoint, puzzles, plants, gardening, travel...
*Social gathering: card games, art classes, tennis, swimming, regular lunch dates.
Again thank you for reaching out to me. Thank you for sharing your stories, your experiences of how you have traveled the road of grieving.
Something more about… Traveling The Road of Grief
Here is the original blog post that so many of you responded to: I Am Now Reaching Out To You Fellow Grievers
3 comments
Barbara Garcia
It’s the time when pain & love become one (losing my parents). But my Dad used to say, it’s like an open wound at first. Then allow it to become a scar. It will always be there it just won’t hurt so much. We have to find a place to store our grief to where it remains sacred but not right in front where it keeps us broken.
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BK Books replied:
Beautifully said. Thank you and blessings! Barbara
It’s the time when pain & love become one (losing my parents). But my Dad used to say, it’s like an open wound at first. Then allow it to become a scar. It will always be there it just won’t hurt so much. We have to find a place to store our grief to where it remains sacred but not right in front where it keeps us broken.
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BK Books replied:
Beautifully said. Thank you and blessings! Barbara
Joyce Kocsis
There’s always household chores. I pray and read. I talk to friends.Lunch with my friends. My mom will be 101 so I always check in on her.
I miss my we.
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BK Books replied:
Thank you, Joyce. Blessings! Barbara
There’s always household chores. I pray and read. I talk to friends.Lunch with my friends. My mom will be 101 so I always check in on her.
I miss my we.
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BK Books replied:
Thank you, Joyce. Blessings! Barbara
Harvey Newman
I am the host of Death Cafe NYC in Meetup.com. Once a month, on the third Friday, I host from 5 to 6 PM EDST on Zoom. Personally, my last 2 soul mates have transitioned. The first was my wife who I had known from May of 1977 until she died in September of 2021. The second was a woman who I was with from March of 2022 until she died in December of last year. Both of them would not have wanted me to stay sad after they left and so I continue to focus on the wonderful times we spent together while allowing myself to miss both of them very much. I feel there is no need to suffer from the two most wonderful relationships I was granted in my life.
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BK Books replied:
Thank you, Harvey for sharing. Blessings! Barbara
I am the host of Death Cafe NYC in Meetup.com. Once a month, on the third Friday, I host from 5 to 6 PM EDST on Zoom. Personally, my last 2 soul mates have transitioned. The first was my wife who I had known from May of 1977 until she died in September of 2021. The second was a woman who I was with from March of 2022 until she died in December of last year. Both of them would not have wanted me to stay sad after they left and so I continue to focus on the wonderful times we spent together while allowing myself to miss both of them very much. I feel there is no need to suffer from the two most wonderful relationships I was granted in my life.
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BK Books replied:
Thank you, Harvey for sharing. Blessings! Barbara