In our grief, holiday celebrations tend to reopen the grief-wound. 

We tend to play the “elephant in the room” game at the mention of our missing loved one. “If we don’t talk about how sad we are feeling we won’t spoil the day for others” is a common belief we carry into gatherings. 

The fallacy in this kind of thinking is that everyone is sad and missing this special person and they are all thinking the same about each other. SO bring those feelings out into the open and share them. At the beginning of the get together, allow yourself to say, “It just isn’t going to be the same this year without mom”, or "Who will carve the turkey now that dad is not here?” 

Another idea is to actually plan on including the person in the day. Since so much of our celebrations involve meals, reserve a place at the table, maybe put a picture instead of a plate and silverware in the reserved spot. 

Talk openly about him or her. Have each person present say what is in their heart as you go around the table before or after eating. The idea is to be open with everyone about the loss you are experiencing. Share stories and reminisce, get out the scrapbooks, cry, laugh and support one another. 

Your loved one will not be there physically but their spirit will be kept alive and cherished.

Something More about…  Holiday Celebrations and the Grief-Wound