Something to Think About

a blog on end of life

We love sharing helpful info on our blog.

About the BK Team
NHPCO Hospice Innovator, Barbara Karnes, RN speaks to those who are living with cancer that can't be fixed. The dying may not want to talk about death. www.bkbooks.com

We often think because a person is facing the end of their life we have to do whatever they want us to, regardless of how it affects us. We treat...

Tired of Fighting: Barbara Karnes, RN

Barbara, I have a 23 year old daughter that has a chronic illness. She says she is tired of fighting. I don't want to lose her. I am lost.
 Having...

Caring for Mom at Home by Barbara Karnes, RN

I appreciate how much you love your mother. I see the challenge you are dealing with in her attitude and behavior. As much as we love someone our feelings can...

When To Use The Books: Barbara Karnes, RN

Barbara, People have asked me when and how I can offer others your booklets. With anyone, an acquaintance or close friend, you can always just say, “I have some materials...

It's About Humanity: Barbara Karnes, RN

In the End of Life Care and Bereavement Group I have on Facebook some of us who are or have been hospice nurses were talking about what we, as hospice...

Living With The Maybe: Barbara Karnes, RN

Grief is a reaction to loss. Loss equates to a death, a death of something or someone. Death comes in many ways, many forms. There is the death of a...

Unstoppable Terminal Delirium In The Dying by Barbara Karnes, RN

In non medical words I would call terminal delirium confusion with or without restlessness. In the weeks before death a person who has entered the dying process is sleeping most...

Dying Awareness: Barbara Karnes, RN

Question: How much is comprehended by the patient as they approach end of life? Do they know who is present, if someone is absent? How does the patient feel knowing...

The Final Hours Before Death: Barbara Karnes, RN

When someone is dying a gradual death from disease and is hours tominutes from death they don't need a doctor, nurse, social worker, or evena chaplain. They need someone who...

Forcing Fluids At End Of Life: Barbara Karnes, RN

As death comes closer we tend to see that families have a hard time with the fact that the patient does NOT want to eat or drink. Not wanting to...

This Is The Moment: Barbara Karnes, RN

Being a type A personality I am moving and doing something most of the time. Tasks are finished before they need to be. Goals are the drive behind me, not...

Medicare, Hospice & Trustworthy Doctors: Barbara Karnes, RN

QUESTION: The doctor recommended hospice for my father today (89, congestive heart failure). I believe this is probably the right thing, but how do I know this isn't about money...

Don't Go Where You're Not Invited: Barbara Karnes, RN

Over the years people have told me stories of a friend or neighbor who was dealing with end of life issues. They then have asked that I call that person...

Shhhh…Don't tell Grandma! Barbara Karnes, RN

Don’t tell Grandma. There has been many a time when I did a hospice assessment and a family member has said to me “Don’t tell Grandma she can’t be fixed....

When Doctors Can't Fix My Ailing Body, I Want to Close My Eyes And...

We have all sorts of fears around dying and death so we keep thoughts of end of life at bay. We are like ostriches who bury their heads in the...

The Amazing Grace of Mary Nell: Barbara Karnes, RN

Mary Nell’s son in law, Ted, sent me this writing. It is so poignant I asked him if I could share it with my blog readers. It is longer than...

Infant Loss: Barbara Karnes, RN

October 15 was National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. I’ve been asked to write about the grief experienced with the loss of a baby through miscarriage or stillbirth. I...

Caring For One of Our Own article by Hospice Pioneer Barbara Karnes, RN

My husband tells the story of me asking our hospice nurse how long she thought my mother had to live (a question all families ask). My husband knew that I...

Making Decisions: Barbara Karnes, RN

QUESTION: If a family member suffers a stroke what is the right decision about whether to use a feeding tube? I think it depends on what a person’s mind and...

Letting Go... Barbara Karnes, RN

QUESTION: What to do if the Doctor suggests stopping life support? RESPONSE: No one wants to be in the position of determining when a person dies, not doctors, not family....

Good Decisions: Barbara Karnes, RN

QUESTION: What are we trying to achieve by treatment? That is THE question everyone involved in medical decision making needs to ask. Who is everyone? Physician, patient, and family. Most...

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