Something to Think About

How do you answer a family member when they ask you how much longer their loved one has to live?  That is a question most family members want to know and...

Most diseases have a pattern. You generally know what to expect. With dementia there seems to be no pattern, at least as far as approaching death is concerned until they...

Hospice was perfect for them. Charles had a life threatening illness, had refused further treatment, and they were alone. We were there to give them support and guidance. Charles and...

With Hospice you never know what you will find once you enter the home. Service can’t be time based. Visits have to be stay until the job is done and...

You asked why your relationship to your hospice work was affected following the death of your dad. I think because every time you entered a patient's home and life it...

Keeping Secrets: “Don’t tell mom.” Don’t say that she could die.” Don’t talk to her about “sad” things.” “Pretend everything is going to be alright.”  Mom lives inside of her body....

I get a lot of letters like the one I’ve edited below. We, as a culture, are so unprepared for witnessing a death. We have no accurate role models. We...

 Know that all of these signs of approaching death, whether indicating months or weeks, are just guideposts. Some people will show all of them...

We believe from all signs that death is rapidly approaching. Then one morning they seem to actually wake up. They are less confused,  they want to eat, or get up....

First, what is meant by “dying person”? In the months before death most people really don’t believe they are dying. “Other people die, not me. There will be a cure,...

Our children are not supposed to die before we do. I cannot think of any grief more intense than watching our child deteriorate before our eyes. We grieve their dying...

Sudden death by accident, suicide and certainly by violence intensifies those normal grief responses. Everything we feel with normal grief is as if we are being held under a magnifying...

Our job as an end of life specialist is to address the elephant in the room, to be direct and honest in the gentlest way possible. We are not doing...

People don’t die like they do in the movies—alive one minute, saying something profound and dead the next. There is a way that the body dies. A way it is...

There are many of the same circumstances with today’s coronavirus as we faced with  HIV/AIDS in the early years— lack of medical knowledge, lack of guidance, and fear. I think...

Isolation from others is teaching me this about my self ——- I do a lot for others, for their thoughts of me, why else do I wear makeup? Get dressed?...

Yes, love of life and fear of death are a part of our personality expression as is our fear of life. In Gone From My Sight I was making a point of...

We do this all the time. We enter tense situations where people are frightened and unsure, with people who have never seen us before. This is what we do: We create...

Pain management is different in the last seven days because the body is not functioning in its normal way. Circulation, breathing, oxygen exchange are not happening properly so medications are...

It is how we feel at the end of the day about ourselves and our life that comes first. Our personal well being takes priority over any amount of work...

The guilt, frustration, uncertainty, and helplessness of family caregivers is as much a problem to our healthcare system as the patient with dementia...