Something to Think About

This is another aspect of grief I didn’t know until now that I am living it. Who am I if I am only one? What have I wanted to do...

Most people, if they had their choice, would want to be in their home with family and the dog or cat on the bed when they die. YET, most people...

I’ve noticed people are hesitant to talk about the person that died or use their name...

We enter peoples’ lives as professionals. We are knowledgeable, supportive, caring, and personable. However, we are not best friends, we are not even friends, really.

Working with end of life in the medical field often leaves us feeling like outliers. The medical model is to fix people. Working with dying generally isn’t addressed in training. (It’s...

support people who are dyingBeing involved with end of life care is not something most people want to do, so what brings you? 

Once we get up the courage to call hospice, we want to see you immediately.  Actually, we needed to see you, hear your guidance and advice, and receive your services yesterday. Families...

Now I have to learn how to be a widow. How to create a new life, a new way of being. I am truly alone. 

Death has touched us all, some more recently than others.  Grief has no actual timeline, no end point where we are suddenly “fine”.  Each of us responds to our loss...

The physician is frontline, the top of the pyramid in healthcare. All care follows from there. The physician can set the tone for the entire patient experience. 

Why is the patient being discharged, you ask? Is it because the patient just didn’t decline as rapidly as expected? Yes, that can be the situation...

Grief is like an open wound. When we healthcare workers experience a personal loss, every patient scrapes open our own wound of personal grief.  

The role of any end of life worker is to begin teaching  immediately, on the first visit -- teaching about approaching death, what to look for, and what to do. That’s...

Our role models from movies and TV show us that dying is gentle, often poetic, certainly not scary or messy. Movies make dying look comfortable.

As caregivers, we want so much to do the “right thing” for our special person. We know death is coming but still try to do all we can to stop...

I knew all the signs of approaching death, of labor beginning. What I didn’t know was how much we don’t want to see those signs, and by not wanting to see them,...

Addressing the timelines of approaching death also neutralizes the false hope that our person will get better, that there is more time.

Tell her honestly what you are feeling and ask for help. Just FYI: she can sign on for hospice and if she felt she needed to go to the emergency...

When we begin the gradual dying process our personality tends to intensify. If we are an angry person we will get angrier. If we have a gentle personality we will...

Not everyone who is dying has pain. Disease causes pain. If pain is not present, a narcotic is not appropriate (except a tiny bit can ease labored breathing is present...

When doctors and healthcare professionals place a number on how long someone has to live they are doing that person a disservice.