The Profound Affect of Dementia on Families

The Profound Affect of Dementia on Families

March 26 2018
I can say that dementia doesn’t play by the rules for end of life. Withdrawing and sleeping can be present for years and does not signify approaching death. Not eating and not swallowing are your key signs. If we don’t eat, we can’t continue to live. Always offer food (be careful of choking), but don’t force food.

THIS IS HOW PEOPLE DIE - my latest film

THIS IS HOW PEOPLE DIE - my latest film

March 13 2018

My message throughout all this time has been to educate, educate, educate. Educate anyone who will listen about how people die. To help people understand how death comes, what it looks like, (a part of life we will all experience one day) is my focus, to neutralize the fear we all bring to approaching death. With my desire to teach as many people as possible I have created a new end of life educational film, This Is How People Die.

Nursing Home Blues, Part 2

Nursing Home Blues, Part 2

February 28 2018
...Fortunately, I suppose, my mother is now bed-bound and we were able to
get Hospice to help out, so she now fits the bill for a 'model patient'... but it
still seems one nurse can wreck her entire day with a bad attitude at
changing time or bath time. And family (which is me) must try to piece back together a mindset that keeps her contented and unafraid. this is a sad time of life. And I do have the Nursing Home Blues, quite regularly...

The Nursing Home Blues

The Nursing Home Blues

February 13 2018
As we get older, life presents us with different challenges. We adapt to them in the same way we have lived our life and dealt with all the challenges in our life up to this point---only our reactions become intensified. If we were withdrawn and not very social in our earlier living then as we get older we become more withdrawn, even less social. Think about...

"WHY?" Questions Arising Following A Death

"WHY?"  Questions Arising Following A Death

January 02 2018
When we die we work to leave our body. That work begins months before death from disease actually occurs but we only really see the work happening when death is days to hours away. I call this time labor because we the watchers don’t understand what is happening. We think it looks painful, abnormal, that something bad is happening...

Telling A Loved One They're Dying

Telling A Loved One They're Dying

December 12 2017
...not telling a person they can’t be fixed is taking away their opportunity to do and say that which is important to them. It is taking away their ability to make decisions based on knowledge of how their life will proceed. It also confuses them in that internally they sense they are not going to get better yet everyone is acting as if they are...

BE GENTLE WITH YOURSELF ~ Grief and Guilt

BE GENTLE WITH YOURSELF ~ Grief and Guilt

November 28 2017
What do I mean by being "gentle" with yourself? I mean forgive yourself for
all the things you feel guilty about. Remember we always do the best we
can with the information we have at the time...

I Don't Want Dad To Die On My Birthday

I Don't Want Dad To Die On My Birthday

November 14 2017

Dad was in his 11th hour and it happened to be my birthday. I was mixed on how I would feel if it happened on that day. In talking with the hospice nurse she matter of fact told me he won’t die on my birthday. My Dad died the very next day. Does the patient have any control...

 

Some Think Hospice Kills

Some Think Hospice Kills

October 30 2017
It is because end of life care is different than caring for someone who is going to get better that we think the care being provided is causing harm. It is because our medical profession is perceived as fixing people, no matter how sick the person is. Hospice care has then failed, has let the person die when death comes.

Taking Charge With An Advanced Directive

Taking Charge With An Advanced Directive

September 06 2017
Dear Barbara, when do we talk about end of life issues with others? We talk about end of life issues NOW while we ar...

Food and the Dying Process

Food and the Dying Process

August 09 2017
Dear Barbara, I'm facing the choice of having my mother be fed or not as she is barely feeding herself. I need facts ...

Death As The Enemy

Death As The Enemy

October 17 2016
QUESTION: Could you write about why it's so difficult for people to start end-of-life care conversations? I was j...

Pneumonia, The Old Man's Friend

Pneumonia, The Old Man's Friend

September 20 2016
 Dear Barbara, I am having a very difficult time providing care for my father as a critical care nurse. I almost lost...

Does "No Code" mean "No Care"?

Does "No Code" mean "No Care"?

August 29 2016
Dear Barbara, would you address the belief among so many people that a “no code” means “no care”. There is a general ...

Dying Without Faith?

Dying Without Faith?

July 11 2016
Barbara,  How is dying different for those who have no faith...and how do we support them while respecting their posi...

Grieving for Grandma

Grieving for Grandma

May 23 2016
Barbara, My husband's 94 year-old grandma just passed.  Our family has lived with her for all of my daughter's life. ...

When To Use The Books

When To Use The Books

March 21 2016
Barbara, People have asked me when and how I can offer others your booklets.  With anyone, an acquaintance or close f...

Signs of Approaching Death with Dementia

Signs of Approaching Death with Dementia

March 15 2016
Barbara, Can you finish the portion on dementia and dying that was not finished on your The Art of Manliness podcast?...
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