Something to Think About

We tend to carry within our memory every death encounter we have ever had.  Yes, even we professionals who work with end of life. BUT it is the personal deathbed memory,...

I’ll say again we are a planet grieving. What does grief look like? Grief is an emotional expression. It comes out in the way we have learned to express our...

The showing and expressing of emotions is so individual, expressing our grief is individual also. Some cry, some show anger, some depression, some “tough it up" and move forward, some...

I don't think it is about the cleanliness of the body but of the hands-on ritual of saying goodbye. Bathing is an intimate ritual. It can be a way of...

Aside from pleasing or displeasing others let's look at some issues that can occur as the result of becoming socially and or romantically involved soon after a death of a...

Maybe, at some point, you can find a place even though you move frequently. A place that has meaning to them or to you. Plant a tree in a park...

Grief is whole bunch of normal emotions rolled up into a package we call grieving. It isn’t new emotions. It is our emotions. It is how we have handled everything...

First, if you don’t have to clean out belongings, don’t for awhile, wait even months if necessary. There can be great comfort found in putting on an unwashed sweater of...

Counseling is a support offering, a choice. Some personalities would never consider counseling. They would not be comfortable sharing their personal thoughts and life with someone else no matter how professional...

... if we would educate ourselves before we need the information, before someone we care about is dying, before we are faced with a life threatening illness, or before someone we...

You asked why your relationship to your hospice work was affected following the death of your dad. I think because every time you entered a patient's home and life it...

Keeping Secrets: “Don’t tell mom.” Don’t say that she could die.” Don’t talk to her about “sad” things.” “Pretend everything is going to be alright.”  Mom lives inside of her body....

I get a lot of letters like the one I’ve edited below. We, as a culture, are so unprepared for witnessing a death. We have no accurate role models. We...

When someone we know or are close to dies we expect to grieve. We recognize our sadness but often we don’t recognize our impulsiveness to clean the house, or our...

Our children are not supposed to die before we do. I cannot think of any grief more intense than watching our child deteriorate before our eyes. We grieve their dying...

Sudden death by accident, suicide and certainly by violence intensifies those normal grief responses. Everything we feel with normal grief is as if we are being held under a magnifying...

Our job as an end of life specialist is to address the elephant in the room, to be direct and honest in the gentlest way possible. We are not doing...

Hospice Bereavement support, as well as any bereavement support program (church, Community Support, Senior Activity Program) is important during the best of times. Now it is vital.  Here are my recommendations;...

People don’t die like they do in the movies—alive one minute, saying something profound and dead the next. There is a way that the body dies. A way it is...

I see families devastated by not being able to be with their loved one as they are dying. I am writing this for any person who is faced with a...

I am now writing this. Here is what I am thinking: The way I have lived my life up to now will probably be changed forever. How long physical distancing...