Something to Think About

a blog on end of life

We love sharing helpful info on our blog.

About the BK Team
Keep No Secrets From Those at End of Life

When working with families who ask me not to tell mom, I say that I won’t bring the subject up, but if she asks, I will talk about it.

Six Months After My Husband Died

It has been almost six months since my husband of 62 years died. As an end of life educator I have taught about loss and grief, and even wrote a booklet about it. BUT...

Addressing Realistic Timelines for the Dying

Addressing the timelines of approaching death also neutralizes the false hope that our person will get better, that there is more time.

"I'm So Angry That He's Sick!"

Anger in caregiving generally comes from a place of frustration, of fear, of sadness, of tiredness. All sorts of feelings with no outlet so they come bursting out.

Holiday Celebrations and the Grief-Wound

We tend to play the “elephant in the room” game at the mention of our missing loved one. “If we don’t talk about how sad we are feeling we won’t...

My New Tool  For Working  With Grief

We tend to carry within our memory every death encounter we have ever had.  Yes, even we professionals who work with end of life. BUT it is the personal deathbed memory,...

Why Don't I Cry?

The showing and expressing of emotions is so individual, expressing our grief is individual also. Some cry, some show anger, some depression, some “tough it up" and move forward, some...

Trying To Understand Grief article by Dying Expert, Barbara Karnes, RN at BKBooks

Grief is whole bunch of normal emotions rolled up into a package we call grieving. It isn’t new emotions. It is our emotions. It is how we have handled everything...

Mom's Dying Alone And It's Unbearable an article on End of Life by expert, Barbara Karnes, RN

Zooming is certainly helpful but know as she progresses toward death she will not be able to respond, even to know you.  Continue the zooming and talking to her even when...

NHPCO Hospice Innovator, Barbara Karnes, RN writes about caring for a patient with ALS as they approach end of life

Our children are not supposed to die before we do. I cannot think of any grief more intense than watching our child deteriorate before our eyes. We grieve their dying...

NHPCO Hospice Innovator, Barbara Karnes, RN speaks to those who are unable to be with their loved one at the time of death. www.bkbooks.com

Our job as an end of life specialist is to address the elephant in the room, to be direct and honest in the gentlest way possible. We are not doing...

NHPCO Hospice Innovator, Barbara Karnes, RN speaks to those who are unable to be with their loved one at the time of death. www.bkbooks.com

People are dying and in a manner we are not used to. We, in America, have become accustomed to having our loved one either at home with family close, or...

Award winning End of Life Educator, Barbara Karnes, RN writes about how necessary grief support is right now in her article, Bereavement Support Is Important At ANy Time, Now, It is Vital

Hospice Bereavement support, as well as any bereavement support program (church, Community Support, Senior Activity Program) is important during the best of times. Now it is vital.  Here are my recommendations;...

Did the AIDS Epidemic Set Us Up To Handle COVID-19? by Barbara Karnes, RN

There are many of the same circumstances with today’s coronavirus as we faced with  HIV/AIDS in the early years— lack of medical knowledge, lack of guidance, and fear. I think...

We've Just Begun Social Distancing~ Here Are My Thoughts by Barbara Karnes, RN

Isolation from others is teaching me this about my self ——- I do a lot for others, for their thoughts of me, why else do I wear makeup? Get dressed?...

MOM IS DYING and There's So Much Blame by Barbara Karnes, RN

I'm sorry to say when a family member is dying it can bring us together and be our finest hour as a family or it can bring out the worse...

DYING CHILDREN, How Much Do They Know? By Barbara Karnes RN

...If an adult knows at some point in their disease progression that they aregoing to die (and they do know whether they share that knowledge withothers or not) why should...

Developing End of Life Expertise by Barbara Karnes, RN

You have to walk the walk before you can talk the talk. Learn from your patient/family interactions. At the same time read everything you can get your hands on...

Hospice Pioneer, Barbara Karnes, RN writes Our Children Aren't Supposed to Die Before Us

From the moment of a diagnosis of a life threatening illness we begin grieving. We grieve not just the eventual losses that come with serious illness but the approaching...

Refusing Treatment At Age 93, Article by Hospice Innovator Barbara Karnes, RN

Why make your mother’s remaining time be unhappy and with more discontent than is already there due to age and illness? Being old is hard work. Our thinking processes aren't...

Six Months To Live? A Doctor's Prediction by Barbara Karnes, RN

So many factors affect the length of our labor to leave this world that it is imprudent to put a specific time frame on approaching death. The closest we can...

1 2