As Life Ends, We Gather the Pieces

I'm reading a book about all the possibilities life offers, the roads we didn't travel, and the experiences we didn't have because of the choices we made. It got me thinking.

As the end of life approaches, thoughts about our life and how we've lived naturally come to the surface. We think about the opportunities we let slip away, the chances we did or didn't take or couldn't take, the what- ifs, the I-wish-I-hads, and the I'm-glad-I-dids of our lives.

Being told we have a life-threatening illness is an opportunity to look at our life choices—both consciously and unconsciously. I think most people do exactly that. Some will share those thoughts with us; others may not.

As the caregivers, the watchers, we can help our special person sort through their life by reminiscing together. Encourage them, while they still can, to talk and share the stories of their life.

Lastly, when the person is no longer responsive — in the days, hours, or even minutes before death — sit with them. Hold their hand. Touch them. Share both the positive and the difficult memories you've experienced together. Talk about the impact they had on your life, but don't be afraid to acknowledge the hard times, too. Together, those experiences made your relationship what it was.

Our life is like a billion-piece jigsaw puzzle. As life comes to an end, we begin putting those pieces together. Months before death, we may do it consciously. Weeks, days, and hours before death, I believe much of that work happens unconsciously.

Something more... about gathering the pieces as life ends~

Knowledge reduces fear. If you're caring for someone with a life-limiting illness, By Your Side will help you understand what's happening and guide you through the practical and emotional challenges of caring at home.