Who Cares for the Caregiver in End-of-Life Work?

Those of us working in the end of life profession are not only working in an area generally not talked about, let alone understood, but we are in a field that goes against much of what healthcare professionals are taught. 

Healthcare professionals are trained to fix, to do everything possible to keep a person breathing. Because we are working in a seldom recognized area of dying and death, we need to be conscious of the additional pressure the work we have chosen gives us. We need to be consciously aware of the need to take care of ourselves.

Here are some thoughts about self care as we work in this unique area of healthcare.

1. Know your beliefs and thoughts about life, dying, and death. We have to know ourselves before we can help others. Self-awareness can keep us emotionally healthy. Put your own oxygen mask on first.

2. Have a listener.  Someone who understands and can relate to what stresses and feelings this end of life work presents. This listener won’t necessarily have answers, but sometimes just verbalizing your feelings releases the emotions and helps clarify the mind.

3. Have a clearing ritual to wash off and let go of the day’s occurrences. A nightly ritual that signals to your mind the job is over for today. Showering as soon as you get home while visualizing washing off the day or even just washing your hands and mentally saying a ritualized phrase that you have created can help. You are consciously telling yourself work is done for the day — Relax.

4. Have a death ritual when your patient dies. Maybe write in a journal, maybe have a special place and light a candle. Have some way of signifying to your subconscious that there is closure. 

5. Recognize your limitations: Acknowledge when you have met your limit. 

* Daily limit (it’s time to sit, close your eyes, and do something else).     

* Situation limit (when you have nothing more to offer or give).

* End of job limit.  End of life work for most is a calling. It is more than just a job BUT it is a stressful, emotionally taxing calling. There may be a time when no matter how much you want to do this work, enough is enough.

End of life work reminds us every day that life ends and makes us appreciate how special each day is. We, professional caregivers, need to make sure we have peace of mind, joy, and fulfillment in our lives, too. Life is more than just work — no matter how special the work is.

Something more…

In my dvd kit, Care for the Caregiver, I speak directly to hospice professionals, doulas, volunteers, and caregivers about sustaining ourselves emotionally while working so closely with death. 

If you would like encouragement and practical guidance for maintaining balance in this work, explore the Care for the Caregiver dvd kit.