Hospice professionals prepare families for the signs of approaching death, but they can't always be at the bedside during the final hours. Even after they have explained what is happening, loved ones often wonder how to be present, what to say, what to do, and whether they are doing enough. Knowing what is happening reduces fear. Knowing what you can do is why I wrote The Eleventh Hour: A Caring Guideline for the Hours to Minutes Before Death.
Gone From My Sight explains the signs of approaching death and helps families understand what they are seeing as death draws near. The Eleventh Hour picks up where that booklet leaves off. It offers guidance, ideas, and suggestions for those who are at the bedside during the final days, hours, minutes, and moments of life, and even immediately after death. Its focus is on how we can be present and actively participate during this sacred time.
Most of us who have the gift of being present at the bedside of someone who is actively dying let our own fear and lack of knowledge keep us from being active in the experience.
Most of us stand on the periphery, watching, afraid of doing something wrong or not knowing what is "acceptable." So we do nothing but watch. Yet our hearts cry out to do something: hold their hand, talk to them, hug, kiss, be close. Instead, we stand by the wall, away from the bed, and watch.
The Eleventh Hour reminds us that we don't have to just be a watcher. We can participate with our presence, our touch, our words.
The best time to read it is before you actually need it. Then, when the time comes, you'll already have the guidance to help you create a sacred, interactive experience. You'll make memories you can carry in your heart forever. The Eleventh Hour won't take away the sadness, nervousness, or even the fear, but it can soften the experience.
The best time to read The Eleventh Hour is before you actually need it. Then, when the time comes, you'll already have the guidance to help you create a sacred, interactive experience. You'll make memories you can carry in your heart forever. It won't take away the sadness, nervousness, or even the fear, but it can soften the experience.
I wrote Gone From My Sight and The Eleventh Hour to work together. One helps you understand what is happening. The other helps you know how to be present during the final days, hours, minutes, and moments before death. My hope is that when your hospice nurse has gone, these booklets will help you feel less alone, less afraid, and more able to share one of life's most sacred experiences.
Something more...
Caring for someone at the end of life brings new questions almost every day. That's why I created the End of Life Guideline Series. It brings together my essential resources, including Gone From My Sight and The Eleventh Hour, to support family caregivers throughout the end-of-life journey. Offered together at a discounted price, the series provides guidance, understanding, and reassurance when you need it most.
