There are very few dying 101 classes to tell people what it is like to die. In fact, few people are comfortable enough to talk about death even when they or someone they love is dying.
Imagine this scenario: Mom is dying. She is in her bedroom, and the family is gathered, going in and out of her room. Outside Mom's room, everyone is crying. But when it's our turn to go in, we stop crying, stand up straight, and walk to her bedside with a smile on our face.
"Hey Mom, how are you doing? You know, if you'll just eat, you'll feel better. Why, we'll be back at the shopping mall before you know it."
We squeeze her hand, kiss her, and tell her how much we love her. She smiles, playing this game with us. Then we leave the room and resume crying.
We don't talk openly about dying, even when we know death is approaching. Knowing someone is dying and being willing to talk about it are two very different things. Few people can bring themselves to say, "Mom, you are dying. I don't know when, but I know it is going to happen. Let's talk."
Gradual death gives us an opportunity to do and say the things we need to do and say, if we are willing to take that opportunity. Too often, we don't.
Something More... about honest conversations
There is so much to talk about and prepare for when someone we love is dying. My guidebook, By Your Side, can help you navigate those conversations, understand the choices ahead, and know what to expect as you care for someone at the end of life.
