When a Dying Person Stops Eating: Food at End of Life

FOOD! We celebrate with it. We cry over it. We socialize around it. We express our anger, nervousness, sadness, and aloneness through food.

We eat for a lot of reasons, but really we eat to live—to keep our physical body healthy and strong. It is the nutrition food provides that keeps the body alive. If the body is preparing to die from disease or old age, it will gradually slow down, cut back on food, and eventually stop eating altogether.

As death approaches (months before death from disease, years if from old age), the person unconsciously cuts back on eating. It is not deliberate. They are not choosing not to eat. The body, not the mind, gradually reduces food intake until it stops eating altogether. The body is loosening its hold on life. It is detaching, becoming less interested, and drawing inward.

As this decline in eating occurs, food becomes a big area of concern. As caregivers, knowing our special person has to eat to get better or at least to stay alive, we begin “pushing” food. Actually, pushing food will become a no win situation, resulting in frustration for the caregiver and stress for the person not eating.

With the diagnosis of a life-threatening illness, we can change how food is presented, offered, and hopefully consumed. We are trying to “buy” a bit of time. Because the body is gradually eating less, we need to make sure what it does eat is worthwhile. That means protein.

Meat, a good source of protein, is generally the first food that’s refused. Other sources of protein, like eggs and dairy, tend to be eaten a bit longer. Ice cream is a good source of calories and goes down easy. You can add ice cream to 8 ounces of a liquid protein drink, and offer it several times during the day in place of actual solid food meals. This may work for a while, but eventually that intake will also be refused.

Notice I have been using the word “body” to explain the decrease in eating as end of life approaches. I purposely used “body” because it is not the person that is deliberately not wanting to eat. The mind may want to, but the body is doing its work of shutting down. The body stops eating because food is what keeps life going.

The body knows how to die. Not eating is one of the natural ways the body prepares for death. Understanding this can help caregivers respond with less frustration and feel more confident.

Something More... about When A Dying Person Stops Eating.

I wrote a booklet, ALWAYS OFFER, NEVER FORCE: Food At End of Life after recognizing how incredibly challenging the food component is for families caring for their dying loved one. This booklet provides the caregivers a “why” and “what to do as it's happening” kind of support. It is short, large-print, and direct, yet gentle.