Being in a relationship is about sharing and compromise. It is “let US do this, what do YOU think?” When a person is alone, not in a relationship, they can do what they want; there is no sharing or compromise.
I hadn’t thought of that before because I didn’t have to. Now that I am only responsible for myself, I only have to figure out “what do I want?” The interesting thing for me is I’m not used to knowing or doing exactly what I want even though I thought I was.
This is another aspect of grief I didn’t know until now that I am living it. Who am I if I am only one? What have I wanted to do but haven’t? How do I fill my days by myself?
Yes, there are family and friends, but not 24/7. There are empty spaces that only I can fill. This new turn now requires different thoughts, directions, and new habits.
What do I want to do when no-one is looking? Dance like no one can see me. I can do that now. I can eat what I like. I can decide what I want to eat without taking another into consideration. Should I eat at 4:00 instead of 6:00? I can do that now. Do I want to watch Love It or List It or get in bed at 7 and read until 11 and then stay in bed until 10 am? I can do either without thinking of another if I want to.
Am I going to do all those things? I don’t know. I do know I’m going to be more aware of myself. Yes, it’s sad there isn’t an US anymore but I am thinking there is a new ME in here somewhere.
What is the story about the optimist and the pessimist ? The pessimist just sees a barn full of manure whereas the optimist thinks there must be a pony in there somewhere - something like that. I think that is where this grief journey is taking me. I miss Jack. I get lonely sometimes, but I am finding a new aspect of myself.
Again, I am sharing my experience because though I know a lot about end of life, I did not know much about grieving. I’m not sure anyone can understand the nuances of grief without experiencing it.
I am sharing this more emotional aspect of grieving so you who wear the same shoes as I am now will see what the new normal looks like and realize you are not the only one.
Something More… about Another Aspect of Grief That I Didn’t Know Until Now
Almost a year ago now I discovered a terrific company called HelpTexts. Those who are grieving recieve support from experts in the grief field straight to their phones. I have given subscriptions to friends who report back that the texts have been incredibly helpful. I have a discount code if you would like to gift a year of grief support to someone you know- HELPTEXTS
Review: I was gifted Help Texts from my sister after the loss of a dear friend. These texts are wonderful!!!! Not only are they supportive, but the insights they provide and tools to help are invaluable. I have shared several of the texts to others who are going through grief as well. At first, they ask questions, so that the texts they provide are geared to your needs. The thoughtfulness of this gift is profound, and I can't recommend it enough.
26 comments
Terry
Thinking of you, Barbara, as you grieve the loss of Jack’s presence. Your publications have been a balm for many, myself included. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and your personal journey. Appreciating you.
~Terry
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BK Books replied:
Thank you Terry for your kind words. Blessings! Barbara
Thinking of you, Barbara, as you grieve the loss of Jack’s presence. Your publications have been a balm for many, myself included. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and your personal journey. Appreciating you.
~Terry
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BK Books replied:
Thank you Terry for your kind words. Blessings! Barbara
Rylan Winner
Barbara, I read about visioning in your books but didn’t retain the info..exhausted… my husband had visioning 3 times and I didn’t ask him how he felt about or anything like that…
I feel so bad about that.
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BK Books replied:
Hi Rylan, yes, people can be a window into the other world as they are leaving us. Generally we don’t know what they are talking about. You might write your husband a letter. Put everything you would still like to say to him on paper including tears and “What about the visions? Sorry I missed them.” Burn the letter and scatter the ashes to the wind. Let how well you live your life now be the gift you give him. Blessings! Barbara
Barbara, I read about visioning in your books but didn’t retain the info..exhausted… my husband had visioning 3 times and I didn’t ask him how he felt about or anything like that…
I feel so bad about that.
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BK Books replied:
Hi Rylan, yes, people can be a window into the other world as they are leaving us. Generally we don’t know what they are talking about. You might write your husband a letter. Put everything you would still like to say to him on paper including tears and “What about the visions? Sorry I missed them.” Burn the letter and scatter the ashes to the wind. Let how well you live your life now be the gift you give him. Blessings! Barbara
Lynne
Barbara,
When my husband’s health waivered and there was no medical procedure to cure his diseased body, my sister sent me your books. They were so helpful; they guided me through the difficult times that were ahead and helped me prepare myself to support my husband as he left this world. Thank you.
Although it’s now been nearly 3 years since his passing, the emptiness I feel is sometimes suffocating. I still catch myself thinking, “Oh, I have to tell Bob” and then I get jerked back to the reality that he isn’t here to talk with me or make a wisecrack to make me laugh. The posts you have made since your husband’s passing have done more to help me accept, understand, and work through my grief than all of the kind, well-meaning words of my friends. As you have said, you just can’t understand this grief until you live it. Please continue to share your thoughts and wisdom.
Blessings,
Lynne.
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BK Books replied:
Hi Lynne, I’m pleased you have found comfort and direction in my sharing. Who knew this sisterhood of widows had so much in common. Now we know and it will help us move forward to find our best new way of living. Blessings! Barbara
Barbara,
When my husband’s health waivered and there was no medical procedure to cure his diseased body, my sister sent me your books. They were so helpful; they guided me through the difficult times that were ahead and helped me prepare myself to support my husband as he left this world. Thank you.
Although it’s now been nearly 3 years since his passing, the emptiness I feel is sometimes suffocating. I still catch myself thinking, “Oh, I have to tell Bob” and then I get jerked back to the reality that he isn’t here to talk with me or make a wisecrack to make me laugh. The posts you have made since your husband’s passing have done more to help me accept, understand, and work through my grief than all of the kind, well-meaning words of my friends. As you have said, you just can’t understand this grief until you live it. Please continue to share your thoughts and wisdom.
Blessings,
Lynne.
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BK Books replied:
Hi Lynne, I’m pleased you have found comfort and direction in my sharing. Who knew this sisterhood of widows had so much in common. Now we know and it will help us move forward to find our best new way of living. Blessings! Barbara
Delilah
Wow! this says it all…….lost my husband just about two yr’s. ago, we were married 64 years, I’ve never lived alone, going from my parent’s home to :"our " home,,,,,,,,,,,,my husband wasn’t ill, was out doing errands, etc, all day, and by 9pm, he was deceased,,,,,,,,,,,everything you describe , above is exactly where I’m at now……….you don’t even anticipate this , until you are living it, thanx for your “take” on this issue which impacts, probably most of us, widows.
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BK Books replied:
Hi Delilah, I think there is an added component to grief when death is sudden—the wish I hads. But as I type this there are “wish I hads” in my grief too. As far as being prepared, knowing death is coming with an illness, I’m not sure anyone is ever prepared for loss. Some of us just may think we are. Blessings to you as you travel this road. Barbara
Wow! this says it all…….lost my husband just about two yr’s. ago, we were married 64 years, I’ve never lived alone, going from my parent’s home to :"our " home,,,,,,,,,,,,my husband wasn’t ill, was out doing errands, etc, all day, and by 9pm, he was deceased,,,,,,,,,,,everything you describe , above is exactly where I’m at now……….you don’t even anticipate this , until you are living it, thanx for your “take” on this issue which impacts, probably most of us, widows.
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BK Books replied:
Hi Delilah, I think there is an added component to grief when death is sudden—the wish I hads. But as I type this there are “wish I hads” in my grief too. As far as being prepared, knowing death is coming with an illness, I’m not sure anyone is ever prepared for loss. Some of us just may think we are. Blessings to you as you travel this road. Barbara
Madeleine Landis
Thank you for your candidness about your grief! I can relate to a lot of what you’re going through. Watching someone die and going through the grief are so different! Like any big life experience, we cannot know exactly what it will be like until it actually happens. I am approaching the 3rd death anniversary of the love of my life 2/25 and can say although the grief is not as acute all the time, I’m still grieving, learning who I am now, and wondering what is next.. trying to remember and be grateful for the 34 years we had together. I look forward to your wisdom when you get ‘further out’ as it seems there isn’t as much support this far down the path… blessings and do all those self-care things!🙏🏼
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BK Books replied:
Hi Madeleine, I’m not sure we ever stop grieving for someone. I think the intensity lessens as time moves on. We adjust and adapt to our loss and learn how to live without them. Blessings to you. Barbara
Thank you for your candidness about your grief! I can relate to a lot of what you’re going through. Watching someone die and going through the grief are so different! Like any big life experience, we cannot know exactly what it will be like until it actually happens. I am approaching the 3rd death anniversary of the love of my life 2/25 and can say although the grief is not as acute all the time, I’m still grieving, learning who I am now, and wondering what is next.. trying to remember and be grateful for the 34 years we had together. I look forward to your wisdom when you get ‘further out’ as it seems there isn’t as much support this far down the path… blessings and do all those self-care things!🙏🏼
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BK Books replied:
Hi Madeleine, I’m not sure we ever stop grieving for someone. I think the intensity lessens as time moves on. We adjust and adapt to our loss and learn how to live without them. Blessings to you. Barbara
Bessie
Barbara thank you for sharing, blessing to you for help others. I’ve been a widow since 1995 with no help from outside but my mother who became my best friend until her passing on Oct 2009, to tell you the truth in small villages there is no outside support but families it is hard to be a single parent but thank god for his everlasting support
thank you again
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BK Books replied:
Hi Bessie, thank you for sharing. Blessings! Barbara
Barbara thank you for sharing, blessing to you for help others. I’ve been a widow since 1995 with no help from outside but my mother who became my best friend until her passing on Oct 2009, to tell you the truth in small villages there is no outside support but families it is hard to be a single parent but thank god for his everlasting support
thank you again
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BK Books replied:
Hi Bessie, thank you for sharing. Blessings! Barbara
Michelle
Thank you Barbara for your beautiful and grounding wisdom about end of life and of course because you are dearly human you would feel grief the same as anyone :)
wishing you lots of love and light on your journey into new territories.
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BK Books replied:
Hi Michelle, Thank you for your kind, supportive words. Blessings! Barbara
Thank you Barbara for your beautiful and grounding wisdom about end of life and of course because you are dearly human you would feel grief the same as anyone :)
wishing you lots of love and light on your journey into new territories.
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BK Books replied:
Hi Michelle, Thank you for your kind, supportive words. Blessings! Barbara
Donna Ecker
Barbara, My husband died almost 3 years ago. It wasn’t until this past Fall that I started figuring out what you have shared here. Thank you so much for all you do and pass along to us. I’m beginning to come out of the fog of my grief
Donna Ecker
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BK Books replied:
Hi Donna, that “fog” is different for all of us. Glad you are emerging and finding your new way. Blessings! Barbara
Barbara, My husband died almost 3 years ago. It wasn’t until this past Fall that I started figuring out what you have shared here. Thank you so much for all you do and pass along to us. I’m beginning to come out of the fog of my grief
Donna Ecker
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BK Books replied:
Hi Donna, that “fog” is different for all of us. Glad you are emerging and finding your new way. Blessings! Barbara
Joyce McCoy
Your article is perfect for my situation as well. My husband of 54 years is now in memory care in a nursing home suffering from Alzheimer’s. Although he is still alive, HE is gone. He will never be coming back to our home, so to me, it feels like a death. I grieve what we’ve lost and have the exact same thoughts you describe. Who am I and what do I want for myself. I’ve never had to think that way since I was 18 years old.
I appreciate you and all of your writings. I’ve purchased many of your booklets and have given them to friends who are going through situations.
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BK Books replied:
Hi Joyce, thank you for sharing. I too have never had to be on my own—a whole new living experience. You have an added challenge in that everyday you are reminded of what you have lost and are still losing. My blessings to you and your husband, Barbara
Your article is perfect for my situation as well. My husband of 54 years is now in memory care in a nursing home suffering from Alzheimer’s. Although he is still alive, HE is gone. He will never be coming back to our home, so to me, it feels like a death. I grieve what we’ve lost and have the exact same thoughts you describe. Who am I and what do I want for myself. I’ve never had to think that way since I was 18 years old.
I appreciate you and all of your writings. I’ve purchased many of your booklets and have given them to friends who are going through situations.
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BK Books replied:
Hi Joyce, thank you for sharing. I too have never had to be on my own—a whole new living experience. You have an added challenge in that everyday you are reminded of what you have lost and are still losing. My blessings to you and your husband, Barbara
Erica Leigh
I have spent the majority of my adult life learning to be alone. But at 49 I met a wonderful person and now 5 years later he will be moving into my house and while I am excited and happy for this next chapter I am also quietly mourning the loss of the freedom of being just me. I am also terrified that he will pre-decease me and I will need to re learn how to be alone. I will be fine, I know, and I’ve been preparing for a lonely death since I started working at end of life. But last night, waiting for him to come to bed I realized that I am more afraid of pre-deceasing him- thinking about watching his heart break as I die is just too much sorrow.
Thank you, for this post, Barbara, for giving me a space to express this sorrow and fear. May your journey of discovering yourself alone be blessed.
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BK Books replied:
Hi Erica, what a precious gift you have found in your new partner. Enjoy each moment. The past is a memory and the future is an illusion. Now is your opportunity. Enjoy. Blessings to you and your partner. Barbara
I have spent the majority of my adult life learning to be alone. But at 49 I met a wonderful person and now 5 years later he will be moving into my house and while I am excited and happy for this next chapter I am also quietly mourning the loss of the freedom of being just me. I am also terrified that he will pre-decease me and I will need to re learn how to be alone. I will be fine, I know, and I’ve been preparing for a lonely death since I started working at end of life. But last night, waiting for him to come to bed I realized that I am more afraid of pre-deceasing him- thinking about watching his heart break as I die is just too much sorrow.
Thank you, for this post, Barbara, for giving me a space to express this sorrow and fear. May your journey of discovering yourself alone be blessed.
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BK Books replied:
Hi Erica, what a precious gift you have found in your new partner. Enjoy each moment. The past is a memory and the future is an illusion. Now is your opportunity. Enjoy. Blessings to you and your partner. Barbara
Barbara J Eaton
Thank you for your “new” insights on the “who am I” process. At the end of my fourth year of just me, I still don’t have all the answers. But, what I do have is an incredible appreciation for you, your works, your blog.
I was with my brother in WA just before he passed (my husband had died just the year before) and was given your blue book. It was so helpful that I ordered the series and read them cover-to-cover. Reading the booklets had such an impact on me that I gifted each of my adult children/families with the series and asked them to (1) quickly skim the books so they know what the content is, then (2) put them away where they can be accessed as needed. Hopefully I have given them some answers I didn’t have before my elders and others died. Again, thank you.
BJE
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BK Books replied:
Hi Barbara, thank you for sharing. It pleases me to hear you are using my materials as I envisioned them - being used and shared. Blessings to you and your family. Barbara
Thank you for your “new” insights on the “who am I” process. At the end of my fourth year of just me, I still don’t have all the answers. But, what I do have is an incredible appreciation for you, your works, your blog.
I was with my brother in WA just before he passed (my husband had died just the year before) and was given your blue book. It was so helpful that I ordered the series and read them cover-to-cover. Reading the booklets had such an impact on me that I gifted each of my adult children/families with the series and asked them to (1) quickly skim the books so they know what the content is, then (2) put them away where they can be accessed as needed. Hopefully I have given them some answers I didn’t have before my elders and others died. Again, thank you.
BJE
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BK Books replied:
Hi Barbara, thank you for sharing. It pleases me to hear you are using my materials as I envisioned them - being used and shared. Blessings to you and your family. Barbara
Yuko
Hi Barbara,
Thanks for your sharing. I lost my mom 3 months ago who I lived with for the past few years to assist. As a medical professional, I’ve seen people who live with grief, and now I’m in the process of grieving for the first time to figure out how I’m going to live my life. Your thought definitely encourages me. Thank you.
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BK Books replied:
Hi Yuko, we medical professionals know the intellectual aspect of healthcare but it isn’t until we are on the “other side of the table” that we experience the emotional side of illness and grief. Blessings to you. Barbara
Hi Barbara,
Thanks for your sharing. I lost my mom 3 months ago who I lived with for the past few years to assist. As a medical professional, I’ve seen people who live with grief, and now I’m in the process of grieving for the first time to figure out how I’m going to live my life. Your thought definitely encourages me. Thank you.
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BK Books replied:
Hi Yuko, we medical professionals know the intellectual aspect of healthcare but it isn’t until we are on the “other side of the table” that we experience the emotional side of illness and grief. Blessings to you. Barbara
Sue
Just passed the 1 year mark on my path after the death of my husband. I have not lived alone for 34 years. I was alone for many years before I married. I have never lived alone while being retired. Trying hard to remember how I lived when alone. The only regret I have is that my body at 79 is not up to doing all the things I want to do. The journey continues.
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BK Books replied:
Hi Sue, I like your reference to “the journey continues”. I’ll add “just in a different direction”. Blessings to you, Barbara
Just passed the 1 year mark on my path after the death of my husband. I have not lived alone for 34 years. I was alone for many years before I married. I have never lived alone while being retired. Trying hard to remember how I lived when alone. The only regret I have is that my body at 79 is not up to doing all the things I want to do. The journey continues.
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BK Books replied:
Hi Sue, I like your reference to “the journey continues”. I’ll add “just in a different direction”. Blessings to you, Barbara
Joanna
Dear Barbara, once again a heartfelt thank you for sharing your insights following such a massive change. My journey following the recent loss of my beloved Honey cat is similar. She was with me 20 years, and her sister 18 years. They defined my life. All was geared to their care. Where we lived and what I did or couldn’t do. Especially when they were elderly and needed intense care. Now I’m feeling somewhat lost without them to care for and focus on. A huge space has opened up. I am suddenly free to do what I want to do without having to consider them. I am both relieved to be free and yet still on the cusp of loss versus freedom. I thank them for giving me the space to change which I needed, and yet am still confused in this change. I know in myself that with time there are aspects of myself hitherto suppressed that can now surface. It takes time. But also it takes a willingness to gradually let them go and allow myself to move forwards. I find myself still holding on to grief to remember them. But this too will eventually change. I try to remind myself that everyone has to go through this process at some point in their lives. One day it will be my husband or myself opposite the loss of the other. Honey is blessing me with a huge teaching in preparation for the next loss. To honour her memory I will do my best to grow. Also I owe it to my self. With love to you and a heartfelt thank you for your openness and sharing of your own journey through grief and inner change. Joanna XX
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BK Books replied:
Hi Joanna, thank you for sharing. Pets that we cherish and love bring grief of loss as intense as grief for humans brings. Unfortunately many don’t recognise this so needed support is often not offered. My blessings to you and your husband. Barbara
Dear Barbara, once again a heartfelt thank you for sharing your insights following such a massive change. My journey following the recent loss of my beloved Honey cat is similar. She was with me 20 years, and her sister 18 years. They defined my life. All was geared to their care. Where we lived and what I did or couldn’t do. Especially when they were elderly and needed intense care. Now I’m feeling somewhat lost without them to care for and focus on. A huge space has opened up. I am suddenly free to do what I want to do without having to consider them. I am both relieved to be free and yet still on the cusp of loss versus freedom. I thank them for giving me the space to change which I needed, and yet am still confused in this change. I know in myself that with time there are aspects of myself hitherto suppressed that can now surface. It takes time. But also it takes a willingness to gradually let them go and allow myself to move forwards. I find myself still holding on to grief to remember them. But this too will eventually change. I try to remind myself that everyone has to go through this process at some point in their lives. One day it will be my husband or myself opposite the loss of the other. Honey is blessing me with a huge teaching in preparation for the next loss. To honour her memory I will do my best to grow. Also I owe it to my self. With love to you and a heartfelt thank you for your openness and sharing of your own journey through grief and inner change. Joanna XX
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BK Books replied:
Hi Joanna, thank you for sharing. Pets that we cherish and love bring grief of loss as intense as grief for humans brings. Unfortunately many don’t recognise this so needed support is often not offered. My blessings to you and your husband. Barbara
cgk
Thank you for putting into words the odd hollowness of grief, it feels empty somehow. I suppose that’s why it’s called loss. Sometimes I wonder who I am without my roles of daughter or sister anymore, but I can almost hear my brother urging me, ‘life is for the living sis’. I suppose we figure it out. Somehow. Hugs to you. And thanks.
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BK Books replied:
Dear CGK, I think all of life is “figuring it out”. Blessings to you. Barbara
Thank you for putting into words the odd hollowness of grief, it feels empty somehow. I suppose that’s why it’s called loss. Sometimes I wonder who I am without my roles of daughter or sister anymore, but I can almost hear my brother urging me, ‘life is for the living sis’. I suppose we figure it out. Somehow. Hugs to you. And thanks.
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BK Books replied:
Dear CGK, I think all of life is “figuring it out”. Blessings to you. Barbara
Shirley
Lost my husband,best friend, travel buddy, movie pal, love of my life 6 yrs 137 days ago. Time does help, yet Valentines Day is painful.
Love your work & will subscribe to the text.
Hugs to all.
ShirleyBelle
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BK Books replied:
Hi Shirley, Thanks for the hug. Blessings to you as we travel the same road. Barbara
Lost my husband,best friend, travel buddy, movie pal, love of my life 6 yrs 137 days ago. Time does help, yet Valentines Day is painful.
Love your work & will subscribe to the text.
Hugs to all.
ShirleyBelle
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BK Books replied:
Hi Shirley, Thanks for the hug. Blessings to you as we travel the same road. Barbara
Bernice
Barbara, thank you for insight on this path. My Jack passed in October 2023. I find all the ‘what if’s or what I would do" have little if any meaning. I remain inundated with paperwork, memories and should of’s…I believe, at some point, there will be a fork in this road! Until then, thank you for your shoulder. God Bless.
Bernice
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BK Books replied:
Bernice, we are walking a similar timeline. I so identify with the “paperwork”. My goodness! We are grieving and yet have all the “business” an end of life brings. I hope you have support and guidance. Blessings! Barbara
Barbara, thank you for insight on this path. My Jack passed in October 2023. I find all the ‘what if’s or what I would do" have little if any meaning. I remain inundated with paperwork, memories and should of’s…I believe, at some point, there will be a fork in this road! Until then, thank you for your shoulder. God Bless.
Bernice
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BK Books replied:
Bernice, we are walking a similar timeline. I so identify with the “paperwork”. My goodness! We are grieving and yet have all the “business” an end of life brings. I hope you have support and guidance. Blessings! Barbara
Diane Laskowski
Thank you so much for your insight…that’s the point I’m at after one year since my husband passed. I’m realizing that I need to make a new life for myself now and it feels a little overwhelming. I’m feeling similar…you’ve been such a help..thank you
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BK Books replied:
Hi Diane, this new path we are walking does feel overwhelming at times. We just keep walking and figuring it out. Blessings! Barbara
Thank you so much for your insight…that’s the point I’m at after one year since my husband passed. I’m realizing that I need to make a new life for myself now and it feels a little overwhelming. I’m feeling similar…you’ve been such a help..thank you
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BK Books replied:
Hi Diane, this new path we are walking does feel overwhelming at times. We just keep walking and figuring it out. Blessings! Barbara
Yaffa B.
Oh, Barbara… my first hospice teacher and my hero. I use your booklets so much and still want to grow up to be you. This hospice nurse of 5 years and widow of almost 16 years hears you. The grief that comes with losing one’s spouse is like no other. My marriage, like yours, was a good one. Even though our experiences are two sides of the same coin, ( I’m sure your hospice knowledge was a comfort, and my loss made me the hospice nurse I am today) I wish that you could have been spared this particular experience. Just know that one of your readers is out here and listening to your discoveries. This is a club none of us ever wanted to belong to. Be kind to yourself and know that one day you’ll rediscover your joy. Time is our friend. With so much love, Yaffa
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BK Books replied:
Hi Yaffa, thank you for your kind, supportive words. Blessings to you my fellow “club” member. Barbara
Oh, Barbara… my first hospice teacher and my hero. I use your booklets so much and still want to grow up to be you. This hospice nurse of 5 years and widow of almost 16 years hears you. The grief that comes with losing one’s spouse is like no other. My marriage, like yours, was a good one. Even though our experiences are two sides of the same coin, ( I’m sure your hospice knowledge was a comfort, and my loss made me the hospice nurse I am today) I wish that you could have been spared this particular experience. Just know that one of your readers is out here and listening to your discoveries. This is a club none of us ever wanted to belong to. Be kind to yourself and know that one day you’ll rediscover your joy. Time is our friend. With so much love, Yaffa
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BK Books replied:
Hi Yaffa, thank you for your kind, supportive words. Blessings to you my fellow “club” member. Barbara
Yuko
Hi Barbara,
Thanks for your sharing. I lost my mom 3 months ago who I lived with for the past few years to assist. As a medical professional, I’ve seen people who live with grief, and now I’m in the process of grieving for the first time to figure out how I’m going to live my life. Your thought definitely encourages me. Thank you.
Hi Barbara,
Thanks for your sharing. I lost my mom 3 months ago who I lived with for the past few years to assist. As a medical professional, I’ve seen people who live with grief, and now I’m in the process of grieving for the first time to figure out how I’m going to live my life. Your thought definitely encourages me. Thank you.
Lorrie
I read your post today and feel all that. Bless you.
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BK Books replied:
Thank you, Lorrie. Blessings! Barbara
I read your post today and feel all that. Bless you.
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BK Books replied:
Thank you, Lorrie. Blessings! Barbara
Chrissy Sheffield
Barbara, thank you (forever grateful for your wisdom) for sharing your raw, emotional relationship with grief. You have helped so many (including me) navigate our feelings around the care of loved ones who are aging and your booklets delivered me and countless others through the ones we loved so much who have passed. . It’s of course so sad that you lost your Jack but I’m thankful that you are sharing what you are learning and leaning into. It’s a subject no one knows until they do.
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BK Books replied:
Hi Chrissy, Thank you for your kind words. Blessings! Barbara
Barbara, thank you (forever grateful for your wisdom) for sharing your raw, emotional relationship with grief. You have helped so many (including me) navigate our feelings around the care of loved ones who are aging and your booklets delivered me and countless others through the ones we loved so much who have passed. . It’s of course so sad that you lost your Jack but I’m thankful that you are sharing what you are learning and leaning into. It’s a subject no one knows until they do.
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BK Books replied:
Hi Chrissy, Thank you for your kind words. Blessings! Barbara
Aliaa
Thanks for your heartfelt share around re-inventing oneself post death of a loved one. I amnin a habit of askimg now 2 years post my father’s dearh: who am I an hhow is my life different with my dad gone? This is both helpful and reflective.
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BK Books replied:
Hi Aliaa, glad this was helpful. Blessings! Barbara
Thanks for your heartfelt share around re-inventing oneself post death of a loved one. I amnin a habit of askimg now 2 years post my father’s dearh: who am I an hhow is my life different with my dad gone? This is both helpful and reflective.
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BK Books replied:
Hi Aliaa, glad this was helpful. Blessings! Barbara
Rae McKeating
Hello Barbara,
my heart is lighter knowing that you are finding the pony, being kind to and somewhat redefining yourself. Thank you for sharing.
Know I am sending you love on this Valentine’s Day.
My best, Rae
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BK Books replied:
Hi Rae, thank you for your kind words. Happy Valentine’s day to you too. Barbara
Hello Barbara,
my heart is lighter knowing that you are finding the pony, being kind to and somewhat redefining yourself. Thank you for sharing.
Know I am sending you love on this Valentine’s Day.
My best, Rae
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BK Books replied:
Hi Rae, thank you for your kind words. Happy Valentine’s day to you too. Barbara
Leslie Schwaderer
Barbara, you have sooo hit the nail on the head with this one. I’m married 46 years and it is so ingrained in me to think of my husband’s needs, likes, dislikes first before what I need. I sometimes think about what my life would be like if he weren’t here. I’d stay up as late as I want, text with abandon, eat every kind of cheese in the world and live without some unnamed smells.
I wonder to myself if these freedoms would fade after a while as the deep loss of his companionship would sink in. Am I okay not having cheese? Yes, yes, I think it’s not a trade-off that would be worth it in the long run.
My heart aches for your loss and the realizations this brings to your life. Thanks for sharing. I read your works avidly.
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BK Books replied:
Hi Leslie, I don’t think what we are feeling has a right or wrong, good or bad or even has anything to do with how much we love and miss our special person. They just are part of our adjustment to our new way of living. Blessings fellow journeyer. Barbara
Barbara, you have sooo hit the nail on the head with this one. I’m married 46 years and it is so ingrained in me to think of my husband’s needs, likes, dislikes first before what I need. I sometimes think about what my life would be like if he weren’t here. I’d stay up as late as I want, text with abandon, eat every kind of cheese in the world and live without some unnamed smells.
I wonder to myself if these freedoms would fade after a while as the deep loss of his companionship would sink in. Am I okay not having cheese? Yes, yes, I think it’s not a trade-off that would be worth it in the long run.
My heart aches for your loss and the realizations this brings to your life. Thanks for sharing. I read your works avidly.
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BK Books replied:
Hi Leslie, I don’t think what we are feeling has a right or wrong, good or bad or even has anything to do with how much we love and miss our special person. They just are part of our adjustment to our new way of living. Blessings fellow journeyer. Barbara
kyle
That was beautiful, Barb.
Sending you a great big hug xox
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BK Books replied:
Thanks for the hug. Blessings! Barbara
That was beautiful, Barb.
Sending you a great big hug xox
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BK Books replied:
Thanks for the hug. Blessings! Barbara