Hospice volunteers step into families’ lives at one of the most private moments they will ever experience. Preparing them for this intimate work requires understanding and education.
Hospice volunteers are non-medical community members who contribute their time to give support to people and their caregivers as death approaches. They have generally never met the family they are assigned to and following the death, the relationship will end.
The job description is to be a listener, a helper with small tasks, a patient “sitter” while the caregiver leaves the house or just goes to sleep. Some hospices train their volunteers to sit with a dying person who has no family or loved ones to sit with them — a "No One Dies Alone" program. Hospice volunteers also do fundraising, community outreach, and bereavement support programs. But this blog is directed at patient/family involvement.
Working with patients and families is intimate work. The volunteers are literally getting into another’s life at a most private time.
It is up to the volunteer to maintain their boundaries. The challenge is to be supportive, educational, friendly, and comforting while not crossing the line into emotional involvement.
Hospice volunteering is NOT becoming involved in family life. It is not making friends with the family’s friends and neighbors. It is not randomly texting “How are you today?" It is not dropping by with gifts for the kids. It can, under certain circumstances, be going to the store for the caregiver with the caregiver's directions and money. But not an “I’m going to the store. Do you need anything?" kind of call. It is doing the assigned duties with the family in a compassionate manner without crossing the line into a personal relationship.
A challenge to the caring, compassionate people that volunteer their time and energy to this noble activity is being aware of these boundaries. The relationship is not personal. The families are not friends. They are people being helped in a supportive, professional manner.
Something more…
The Final Act of Living is the resource I would use for hospice volunteer education to help volunteers understand the dying process and their specific role at the bedside.
5 comments
Mary
Grateful for the specific examples Barbara gives to explain what being “too involved” with a family looks like. Setting the “do not cross” line is a challenge for the ego. Learning how to detach after such an intimate experience is hard, but necessary for everyone involved—family members and volunteers alike.
———
BK Books replied:
Hi Mary, detaching after such an intimate time is a challenge but necessary in order to continue in this good work. Blessings! Barbara
Grateful for the specific examples Barbara gives to explain what being “too involved” with a family looks like. Setting the “do not cross” line is a challenge for the ego. Learning how to detach after such an intimate experience is hard, but necessary for everyone involved—family members and volunteers alike.
———
BK Books replied:
Hi Mary, detaching after such an intimate time is a challenge but necessary in order to continue in this good work. Blessings! Barbara
Lora Morrison
This is a very good idea to have volunteers in hospice educated especially about boundaries. As a death doula myself I find myself needing to remind myself of boundaries. There are times when I’m a death doula and other times ,I’m a friend or a family member giving support.
———
BK Books replied:
Hi Lora,Yes, anyone working in the end of life areas need to recognize the professional line and the getting too involved line. Blessings to you in the work you are doing. Barbara
This is a very good idea to have volunteers in hospice educated especially about boundaries. As a death doula myself I find myself needing to remind myself of boundaries. There are times when I’m a death doula and other times ,I’m a friend or a family member giving support.
———
BK Books replied:
Hi Lora,Yes, anyone working in the end of life areas need to recognize the professional line and the getting too involved line. Blessings to you in the work you are doing. Barbara
Dawn Young
Hi Barbara. I have been a hospice volunteer for 14 years. Keeping professional boundaries is very important and additionally I would include keeping any medical or personal information you are exposed to confidential. Not only is it a HIPPA violation to share this information with others it would be a violation to the patient and their families that we serve.
———
BK Books replied:
Thank you, Dawn for adding this important information. Blessings to you in the work you are doing. Barbara
Hi Barbara. I have been a hospice volunteer for 14 years. Keeping professional boundaries is very important and additionally I would include keeping any medical or personal information you are exposed to confidential. Not only is it a HIPPA violation to share this information with others it would be a violation to the patient and their families that we serve.
———
BK Books replied:
Thank you, Dawn for adding this important information. Blessings to you in the work you are doing. Barbara
Kate Kundmueller
How do I become a volunteer. Please let me know? Thanks. I am previously a aide for the elderly and disabled.
———
BK Books replied:
Hi Kate, to be a hospice volunteer call any of the hospices in your area. Tell them you are interested in being a volunteer and what do you do? I’d call several and decide from the conversation which one appeals to you. Blessings! Barbara
How do I become a volunteer. Please let me know? Thanks. I am previously a aide for the elderly and disabled.
———
BK Books replied:
Hi Kate, to be a hospice volunteer call any of the hospices in your area. Tell them you are interested in being a volunteer and what do you do? I’d call several and decide from the conversation which one appeals to you. Blessings! Barbara
Kate Kundmueller
How do I become a volunteer. Kate.kundmueller@aol.com. 631 942 1982
———
BK Books replied:
Hi Kate, Google your local hospices. Call each one and ask them about their programs and ask about the extent of their training. The more training the better, on going group support is also what you want. Select the one that fits you. Blessings! Barbara
How do I become a volunteer. Kate.kundmueller@aol.com. 631 942 1982
———
BK Books replied:
Hi Kate, Google your local hospices. Call each one and ask them about their programs and ask about the extent of their training. The more training the better, on going group support is also what you want. Select the one that fits you. Blessings! Barbara