Barbara, Can you write about "miracles" and how the hope/prayer for a miracle can make people miss what is in front of them?
An internet search defines a miracle as: “a surprising and welcome event that is not explicable by natural or scientific laws and is therefore considered to be the work of a divine agency.” I, Barbara, define “a miracle” as "an event attributed to a supernatural being (God or gods), a miracle worker, a saint, or a religious leader.” It is an event that seems to defy all logic.
With that definition, you have to be a pretty high stakes gambler to bet your life (literally) on the idea that a miracle is going to cure your life threatening illness.
People tend to miss what is in front of them, which is the present moment. How many of us live in past memories or future ideals? Most of us don’t live in the immediate moment — and it is that moment that sets the stage for what follows — for the future.
What many, maybe even most, people do is trade that moment for a gamble on the future. We do this gambling with a lot of life occurrences, but we place our biggest bets on life threatening illness decisions.
We gamble that being very sick with side effects, and spending inordinate amounts of money on treatments and procedures will result in a cure, in a life that is active and healthy — in a miracle. I use the word “miracle” because if the right questions are asked and the physician is being honest, oftentimes the answers will point to this: it would take a miracle to return you to a healthy life. Most of us don’t want to hear that kind of answer, so we don’t ask.
I remember someone telling me that prayer requires action, that God works through us. There is an old story about a man praying to God to save him from the rising waters of a river. A boat comes by and the driver says to the man, “Get aboard.” The man replies, “God will save me.” A rescue helicopter throws down a rope and the pilot says, “Climb the rope”. The man says, “God will save me.” Well, the man drowned. When he met God, the man was disillusioned and asked God why he didn’t save him. God replied, “I tried. I sent you a boat and a helicopter.” The story makes an important point: help comes in the ways of this earth. It is life working in us and our actions that creates miracles.
I think prayer and positive thinking is a very valuable tool in healing, in all of living actually, but it isn’t enough. To deal with our challenges we must use the tools of the physical world we live in: rational thinking, research, truth, and knowledge of our disease.
Something More... about Hoping For A Miracle
When we avoid asking questions, usually because we're scared. At these times we must remember Knowledge Reduces Fear. Get New Rules for End of Life Care and reduce your fear so that you can live fully during your final act of living!
5 comments
Barbara Sanders
Hi Barbara, what I tell families waiting for their miracle….which they’ve undoubtedly defined and started waiting for long before they’ve met me…is go ahead and pray for and wait for the miracle….but in the meantime let’s redefine what hope is in the context of what your doctor – most likely- has told you…..At this time the goal is likely immediate resolution of pain, shortness of breath…. so maybe refine miracle to include today’s current goals….so they can see that their current hope and expectation is more easily seen and met…..families often let me take them down this path when their initial goal is only Cure…… just my experience….
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BK Books replied:
Hi Barbara, I like it. Families are lucky to have you.Thanks for sharing. Blessings to you in the good work you’re doing. Barbara
Hi Barbara, what I tell families waiting for their miracle….which they’ve undoubtedly defined and started waiting for long before they’ve met me…is go ahead and pray for and wait for the miracle….but in the meantime let’s redefine what hope is in the context of what your doctor – most likely- has told you…..At this time the goal is likely immediate resolution of pain, shortness of breath…. so maybe refine miracle to include today’s current goals….so they can see that their current hope and expectation is more easily seen and met…..families often let me take them down this path when their initial goal is only Cure…… just my experience….
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BK Books replied:
Hi Barbara, I like it. Families are lucky to have you.Thanks for sharing. Blessings to you in the good work you’re doing. Barbara
Charles Dolcimascolo
Bless you, Barbara.
You are doing God’s work.
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BK Books replied:
Thank you, Charles, for your kind words. Blessings! Barbara
Bless you, Barbara.
You are doing God’s work.
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BK Books replied:
Thank you, Charles, for your kind words. Blessings! Barbara
Charr Davis
Thank you for your work. Your books helped me through the death of my mother of old age and my husband of dementia. Your information sustained me through both deaths. .
Sadly, I now have a very dear friend who has cancer. The cancer is not curable. Her doctor has been treating the cancer with experimental drugs. She is hoping for a miracle. Her doctor continues to treat her with these drugs and when she says she wants to stop or reduce the amount of a specific drug due to the side effects, he is reluctant. She does not want me discussing end of life. She feels if the doctor is treating her then she will continue treatment. When you say, “I use the word “miracle” because if the right questions are asked and the physician is being honest…” what specific question should be asked of the doctor? It is sad to watch this process.
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BK Books replied:
Charr, unfortunately some physicians have the philosophy of “never stop treating. What is learned, even though unsuccessful, will help others”. It sounds like this is one of those physicians. A second opinion is an option but sounds like your friend is not ready. There is nothing you can do except love her, be a sounding board and a safe place for her. My blessings to you both. Barbara
Thank you for your work. Your books helped me through the death of my mother of old age and my husband of dementia. Your information sustained me through both deaths. .
Sadly, I now have a very dear friend who has cancer. The cancer is not curable. Her doctor has been treating the cancer with experimental drugs. She is hoping for a miracle. Her doctor continues to treat her with these drugs and when she says she wants to stop or reduce the amount of a specific drug due to the side effects, he is reluctant. She does not want me discussing end of life. She feels if the doctor is treating her then she will continue treatment. When you say, “I use the word “miracle” because if the right questions are asked and the physician is being honest…” what specific question should be asked of the doctor? It is sad to watch this process.
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BK Books replied:
Charr, unfortunately some physicians have the philosophy of “never stop treating. What is learned, even though unsuccessful, will help others”. It sounds like this is one of those physicians. A second opinion is an option but sounds like your friend is not ready. There is nothing you can do except love her, be a sounding board and a safe place for her. My blessings to you both. Barbara
Robin
Hi Barbara,
I written to you in the past. I am a frontier hospice nurse. We have very few resources to help people in the area I serve.
I do my best to provide end of life care even in the most remote places. I so enjoy your posts!! I often forward them to my family’s to have more encouraging, educating, and insightful information to help their loved ones venture through the dying process with as much information as possible!
Yes, I use all of your resources to help guide my families. They are thankful for the straight forward information that helps give them the confidence to continue to care for their loved one to the end.
Thank you so very much for the honest encouragement you share!!
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BK Books replied:
Robin, blessings to you in the work you are doing. Barbara
Hi Barbara,
I written to you in the past. I am a frontier hospice nurse. We have very few resources to help people in the area I serve.
I do my best to provide end of life care even in the most remote places. I so enjoy your posts!! I often forward them to my family’s to have more encouraging, educating, and insightful information to help their loved ones venture through the dying process with as much information as possible!
Yes, I use all of your resources to help guide my families. They are thankful for the straight forward information that helps give them the confidence to continue to care for their loved one to the end.
Thank you so very much for the honest encouragement you share!!
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BK Books replied:
Robin, blessings to you in the work you are doing. Barbara
Victoria
In April the vet said my 16 year old cat Joolz probably had a tumor, due to her excess fluid /abdominal bloating. I was crushed, as she was a companion like no other cat I had ever had. She became more bloated, and had labored breathing. Sobbing, I prayed to the Lord for a miracle. Two weeks later, the bloating had diminished, and after 3 weeks, it was gone, her breathing was normal. The Lord gave me a miracle for the next four and a half months. I was elated. In mid September, she slowed down considerably, and took a last walk on the beach with me, as well as a float on my air mattress. I carried her around the garden for the last time.
The vet came and let her go. I have never been loved by a cat ( probably a human too, with the exception of my Dad) the way I was loved by Joolz. We were inseparable, and I lost a piece of my heart and soul when she left.
But the Lord gave me an unforgettable 4 and a half months with his miracle.
Grief is truly the price we pay for love.
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BK Books replied:
I’m glad you got your miracle. They are few and hard to come by. Blessings! Barbara
In April the vet said my 16 year old cat Joolz probably had a tumor, due to her excess fluid /abdominal bloating. I was crushed, as she was a companion like no other cat I had ever had. She became more bloated, and had labored breathing. Sobbing, I prayed to the Lord for a miracle. Two weeks later, the bloating had diminished, and after 3 weeks, it was gone, her breathing was normal. The Lord gave me a miracle for the next four and a half months. I was elated. In mid September, she slowed down considerably, and took a last walk on the beach with me, as well as a float on my air mattress. I carried her around the garden for the last time.
The vet came and let her go. I have never been loved by a cat ( probably a human too, with the exception of my Dad) the way I was loved by Joolz. We were inseparable, and I lost a piece of my heart and soul when she left.
But the Lord gave me an unforgettable 4 and a half months with his miracle.
Grief is truly the price we pay for love.
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BK Books replied:
I’m glad you got your miracle. They are few and hard to come by. Blessings! Barbara