I have been at the bedside of many, many people at their exact moment of death. Those people have taught me what happens in the hours to minutes before death. Just before they take their final two or three breaths most people make a facial grimace or frown. Once in a while I have seen a smile but usually it is a grimace. My belief, and I can not prove this in anyway, is that the frown or grimace is made at the actual moment the soul leaves the physical body, the exact moment the driver gets out of the car. Following the facial movement there are usually two or three long spaced out breaths, the rest of the air and energy leaving the body. I don't think the facial expression has anything to do with pain or discomfort. It may show a bit of ambivalence about leaving this world but mostly I think it is the expression of release, of the final letting go from the physical body.
When people are heavily medicated during their last hours to minutes they don't seem to show the grimace but either way, grimace or not, nothing bad is happening, nothing out of the ordinary is happening. The person has let go of the hold on the physical just like they are supposed to do. They are now free to go about a new journey. We often get very confused about the moment someone takes their last breath. We let our own fear of the moment distort our perception of what happened. We tend to put way too much thought into what the last moment looked like.
Please celebrate life, the joys, the legacy your loved one brought to the physical world. Fill your mind with good memories and let go of your concern for the moment of release. A death in this world is a birth into another world. You have witnessed a birth and the labor it entails.
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I lost my twin sister 2 and a half days ago on July 4th, from Lung Lymphoma Cancer. I was there When she took her last breath. My heart it shattered. I knew she was passing weeks ago because of the sleeping and other things as she was in hospice. I went to work for a little bit then planned on heading to see her afterwards. As I was headed to hospice I got the call that she was actively dying. When I got there about 8 hours before she passed it was like looking at her and she had already passed. Her eyes were not active, just open, mouth opened, and no movement. I thought is she still here with me? I don’t know? I pray she was until she took her last breath so she knows I was there with her. Just like the we were born.
Hi George, the description of your mother’s last moments is exactly what I see so often. Most people have a grimace on their face, a few a smile, but most a grimace just before they die. I don’t know why but to me it is like that last push, that last effort to free themselves from the body. Nothing bad was happening. This facial expression is very natural.
My blessings to you. Barbara
Dear
Merrie Jane – MARCH 01 2019
I too experienced incredibly horrific facial expressions at my sister’s passing. She had been unconscious for a couple of days and morphine medicated. I believe that she could hear me as I asked her to smile and she was able to bear her teeth. I had asked her to squeeze my hand but she was not able to do so. After the facial contortions had finished (about 45 seconds) her face returned to a peaceful state. It is comforting that someone else has experienced this phenomenon. We don’t move on, but we move forward.
Regards
Hi Merri, watching our loved one at the moment of death can be upsetting when we don’t know what to expect. From what you have described of your mother’s last moments she did nothing unusual. Many, many people have a facial grimace as they leave their body. I think it is a momentary ambivalence, “I don’t want to go and leave those I love”—not pain, not fear but I really don’t want to go. About her hearing your fears: a person in the hours to minutes before death is the little chick working to get out of tit’s shell. How they hear and observe what is happening around them is as from afar. Listening to what is being said is not their focus. Their mind is like a dream. You might write your mother a letter now and tell her your thoughts, fears and concerns. Tell her all that you are carrying in your heart, including the tears. The burn the letter and release the ashes to the wind. Mom will get your letter. My blessings are with you. Barbara
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