I have been at the bedside of many, many people at their exact moment of death. Those people have taught me what happens in the hours to minutes before death. Just before they take their final two or three breaths most people make a facial grimace or frown. Once in a while I have seen a smile but usually it is a grimace. My belief, and I can not prove this in anyway, is that the frown or grimace is made at the actual moment the soul leaves the physical body, the exact moment the driver gets out of the car. Following the facial movement there are usually two or three long spaced out breaths, the rest of the air and energy leaving the body. I don't think the facial expression has anything to do with pain or discomfort. It may show a bit of ambivalence about leaving this world but mostly I think it is the expression of release, of the final letting go from the physical body.
When people are heavily medicated during their last hours to minutes they don't seem to show the grimace but either way, grimace or not, nothing bad is happening, nothing out of the ordinary is happening. The person has let go of the hold on the physical just like they are supposed to do. They are now free to go about a new journey. We often get very confused about the moment someone takes their last breath. We let our own fear of the moment distort our perception of what happened. We tend to put way too much thought into what the last moment looked like.
Please celebrate life, the joys, the legacy your loved one brought to the physical world. Fill your mind with good memories and let go of your concern for the moment of release. A death in this world is a birth into another world. You have witnessed a birth and the labor it entails.
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I would suggest that the the grimace is the body’s reaction to the departure of the life we truly are. Restin.
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BK Books replied:
Hi Restin, something to think about. Blessings! Barbara
My Mother just died a few hours ago in hospice. She was on morphine, mouth wide open and eyes just staring straight ahead, non-responsive. Breathing labored (she was in hospice for secretions due to stroke) but didn’t look in pain. She suddenly jerked a bit to the side with a grimace and clenched her teeth almost like she was either trying to stop a sneeze or having a bowel movement. Then she took two more breathes with long pauses between and died. We were with her. I’m glad to know she wasn’t in pain. Thank you a million for this blog.
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BK Books replied:
Hi Julie, What a good job your mom did. What you described is exactly how many people die. The facial grimace, the 2 or 3 long spaced out breaths is all the little chick working to get out of its shell. Thank you for sharing. Blessings! Barbara
John, your body is certainly giving you some challenges. I hope you have some support, good friends, hospice or an End of LIfe Doula as you go through this final act in living. If I can be of any guidance email me barbara@bkbooks.com. Blessings! Barbara
Great post, Barbara! I am a diabetic and recently lost my leg, kidneys are failing, and I can’t breathe too well anymore. It is comforting to read good blogs like yours. Thanks again :-)
Hi Kelly, I am glad reading this article has brought you some peace of mind. Blessings! Barbara
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