Signs of Approaching Death with Dementia

My husband has dementia has lost 1 1/2 stones in three months
Doesn’t want to eat or drink hardly drinks a glass of water. Is very
Weak and does not want to get out of bed.

Please advice.

Nilu.

Hi Shelia, it is so hard to tell when a person with only dementia has entered the dying process. I do not have enough medical history to speculate but here is what I know: It isn’t until a person with dementia stops eating (because of just not eating or difficulty swallowing and choking) that the dying process actually begins. Talking to others we can’t see is often a sign of approaching death in people who do NOT have dementia but someone with dementia can be talking to others for years. My blessings are with you and your mum. Barbara

Hi my mum is 90 and she has Alzheimer’s.She has been living in a dementia care home since December.She is now immobile and has to be moved with a hoist.she is doubly incontinent,and mostly refuses to get out of bed to sit in a wheelchair.For the last month she has been eating hardly anything,maybe 2-3 spoonfuls of soup and rarely drinking more than half a small cupful of tea or juice.This past 2 weeks she has been having hallucinations both hearing and seeing things that are not there,and having conversations with people who are already dead.Its quite scary to watch and listen to,but she seems happy talking to these people.Do you think she is in the dying process.Thank you

Hi Donalda, your mother’s deterioration sounds to be the natural progression as she approaches death. Between her age and the dementia I don’t think anything pathological is happening. I have a booklet called How Do I Know You. Dementia At End of Life. I think it would be helpful along with the booklet Gone From My Sight as you support your mom on her journey.
Blessings! Barbara

My mom is 95 and has dementia she hardly eating or drinking in the last year she has lost 20 lbs …she now weighs only 90 lbs she’s very weak but still able to sit up in her wheel chair , she fell over sideways yesterday in her chair I sat her back up right the staff in the nursing home say that with her feeding it hit or miss but she usually only has a few mouthfuls …I trying to give her her afternoon snack and juice (juice is thickened) but can sometimes get a few spoonfuls into her this I really has me worried

Dear Alexis, Yes, I am saying if a person with dementia has reached the place of being unable to eat and artificial feeding has not been chosen, they will enter the dying process. Considering all the many aspect to dementia that make families wonder is their loved one is dying I thought that piece of knowledge would be helpful. Blessings! Barbara

All of your responses basically say, “if they’re not eating they’re dying”, “if they’re eating, they’re not dying.” Not very helpful or informative.

Hi Martha, you have described many of the behaviors found in dementia, some of the really challenging ones for those involved in the care. I have so many questions: Is she living with you? Do you have help caring for her? Have you spoken with her doctor about her behavior? Is she on any medications? I think addressing those areas I have questions about may help you with the care for your mother. Dementia in a loved one can be so challenging (as you are indeed experiencing). You will probably not be able to do this alone. Have you contacted your local Alzheimer’s Association? They will have ideas and agencies you can contact for assistance. A support group for caregivers and/or family is probably offered and would be very helpful for you to attend. I would also talk with her physician and get his ideas and recommendations for how you can best care for your mom. I know there are medications that calm and as much as I am against a lot of medications sometimes that is our only option.
Use my personal email barbara@bkbooks.com if I can help. Blessings to you and your mom. Barbara

My mom has dementia it’s rough she’s real mean she cusses at us she don’t sleep at night she’s always hungry even after we feed her she tells us aren’t you going to feed me we don’t know what to do should we be worried about this we can’t get her to take a shower or change her clothes what can we do 😞

Hi Paula, in regards to your question about your dad sleeping so much and having diarrhea when he has to go someplace; I don’t know about the diarrhea. You might ask his doctor about that. The sleeping so much of the time can be a part of the dementia. There isn’t anything you can do about it. Trying to get him moving and not sleeping will just confuse and upset him. Withdrawing from those about him and sleeping more is not a sign of approaching death if a person has dementia. Only when they have challenges eating does the dying process begin. I do not believe your father has entered the dying process. He is just progressing in the dementia. Have you read my booklet How Do I Know You? I think you will find it helpful. Blessings to you and your father. Barbara

hi my dad has dememtia and he sleep almost all day and he sleeps at night, and he eat very will. It is the sleeping that has me very up set, He was a very active man and now if we say he has an appointment he get the runs and very bad breath, He has had it for 10 years help. Paula,Sue, richared.

Hi Gaylene, in regards to your email asking for direction regarding your husband sleeping more: his poor body, so many things wrong. Sounds like it is just wearing out. Any one of his physical challenges could be causing him to want to sleep more, including the dementia. However, it isn’t until he is not eating enough calories to maintain his body that dying actually begins. For someone with dementia sleeping more is not an indication that dying has begun, only not eating. You might want to read my booklet How Do I Know You? which is about dementia at end of life. The booklet Gone From My Sight will also be helpful. When he was discharged from home health did they mention Hospice to you? I don’t know enough details about his medical conditions to know if he would be appropriate for hospice but either ask your physician or call a hospice and ask for an information visit.
My blessings are with you and your husband. Barbara

Hi Prudence, in regards to your husband not eating and now on Morphine: from what you have described it does sound like he has entered the dying process. Have you thought about bringing in hospice services? They can help guide you through this time. Also you might want to read my booklets, Gone From My Sight and How Do I Know You?. They can give you guidance as to what is happening in the next few weeks.
Blessings! Barbara

Hi, my name is Gaylene Madison. My husband has dementia, type 2 diabetes, HBP, neuropathy, and a back injury due to a work accident. I take care of him 24/7. He gets around slow, staggers, and so on. His appetite has changed, doesn’t eat a lot but snacks at times. My question is, is it normal for him to sleep a lot? He has done it for the last few days, gets up, goes to bathroom, maybe eat something and goes back to sleep. I do have a power attorney on him. He was on home health care almost 2 months ago. They discharged him because there was nothing else they could do for him. I would appreciate all the info. He also had a bad stroke during the back surgery, aka we are at what we are now. He also has mini strokes.

Hello, I am at the end of a 10 year journey caring for my dear husband at home. He is now on morphine and has not eaten nor had anything to drink in five days, he just will not take anything into his mouth. I am very worried he is dying. Am I correct

Hi Sara, in response to your concerns about your mother’s behavior and rapid decline. Her behavior is similar to dementia although more rapid than we usually see. I suggest you call her primary care physician and tell him/her what is happening. They may want to run some tests. She should be checked by a physician so other medical issues can be ruled out. My blessings are with you and your mom. Barbara

My mom has lived in a memory care facility for the past 8 months. She was is diagnosed with dementia prior but had little memory loss. She had behavioral issues, including walking out of her AL facility, wandering, etc. It was recommended that she live in memory care. It’s been hard on her, my dad died before she was moved in and she been very depressed but just recently seemed to be adjusting. She walked on her own but really did better with a walker. Was able to talk, do her own hair, crochet and take care of most of her personal needs. Suddenly last Sunday we noticed a slight change when we picked her up to go visit the cemetery and go out for lunch. She seemed a little distant and a little confused. We had a nice time and she ate a great lunch to. We were some what concerned about the new behaviors and noticed them again on Monday. Wednesday, we received a call that she was more confused and had a fall. We were called on Thursday, Friday and Saturday that she fell each day. No broken bones but there was great concern. In addition she stopped eating on Wednesday and really hasn’t eaten anything on Thursday, Friday, Saturday or Sunday. Just a few bites of food. When I was able to get her to take a bite of food she doesn’t chew it and leaves it in her mouth. I have to tell her to swallow. She also has stopped talking except for a very few words. Lastly she is extremely weak. She is unable to even hold a cup to drink from or hold a fork. I’m worried and am looking for some advise. Is this the dementia, is her body shutting down? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

Hi Ani, in regard to your question about where to have your mom (your home or a facility)? From what you have described of your mom’s weight and eating habits I do not think she has entered the dying process. Also the fact that hospice is discharging her from an inpatient hospice says they do not think she is actively dying. People with dementia do not play by the rules of approaching death. It all depends on eating and food intake. You might want to read my booklet How Do I Know You? From what you have described of your home and summer plans you will be introducing anxiety and stress into your home. Yes, it would be wonderful to have your mom in your home with your family loving her until she is gone but what about your regular schedule of family duties and actives with the addition of a declining mother who will become total care, 24/7? It is hard work physically and emotionally to care for someone you love in your home. There is no timetable on when death will come. Each person does it in their own way and time while most of living does revolve on a timetable. When involved with end of life issues we all end up putting our own plans and schedules on hold while dying proceeds.What you have to decide is how much do you want to be with your mother at her moment of death? If it is very important to you then cancel your summer plans. There is no way anyone can be so accurate as to say what this summer will bring for you and your mom. Again, from what you have described of her weight and eating I do not think your mom is dying anytime soon. She may have quite a ways to go yet. My blessings are with you and your family. Barbara

Hi Mary, one of the reasons you have hospice is for them to guide and support you. I am disappointed you are not getting that support SO—make an appointment with the hospice nurse and social worker, together. Tell them you need more from them. Set up a time for them to contact you on a regular basis to talk about your father and answer your questions or— to just listen to you vent. This is part of what hospice does (or is suppose to do) support the family. Now to address your concerns: it sounds like your father has entered the dying process. When we don’t eat life does not sustain itself. His not eating is a normal and natural part of the dying process. With his advanced dementia his body is shutting down and letting go. I do not recommend a feeding tube to correct the not eating. A feeding tube will only delay the inevitable and make your father uncomfortable. Have you read my booklet How Do I Know You? It is a guide for dementia at end of life. I think you will find it helpful. My blessings are with you and your father during this challenging time. Blessings! Barbara

Dear WS, Sounds like you really have your hands full and yes, it will get worse. You need some help and guidance for the time ahead. You might contact your state Alzheimer’s association for services available and ideas for how to deal with your situation. A social worker would be able to offer ideas and connections and a lawyer about how to get guardianship (which you will need at some point). I would also talk with their primary care physician, alone, and tell him/her the deteriorating situation. There might be drugs to help (although I am not an advocate of a lot of drugs). WS, as difficult as it is with your parents borderline non functioning you have to take the lead and direct them into a safer environment before a crisis occurs and you have to make hurry up decisions. My blessings are with you and your parents. Barbara

My mother is currently in inpatient hospice and is meant to be discharged once I figure out where to have her go next with home hospice. She is carrying plenty of extra weight and is eating small to medium amounts on most days. Some days she eats almost nothing, but it keeps changing. I have the opportunity to have her go to a residential hospice, or I’m thinking of having her come to my house with a caregiver. I would want her with me if she is actively dying. I am not sure I can really handle having her at home if it’s likely to go on for many months or years. I have school aged children, work and have some obligations coming up. Also, this may sound shallow and selfish, but I want to take summer vacation with my family (2-3 weeks). Any insights or words of advice? I’m really having trouble making the decision. My husband is supportive.

My 93 year old father has gotten to the point where he can’t keep water or food down. He’s continuously throwing up everything and now is starting to refuse food. He’s been losing on average 10 pounds a month for the last 4 months, he’s down to 120 and I think he’s less than that now. He stays in bed now and when I try to get him to sit up, he refuses and says he’s tired. He lives in an assisted living facility now. He’s been in hospice care since July, 2018. It’s now March 2019. He has some dementia but has been very chatty up until this point. Hospice doesn’t say much to me about death approaching or how long they think he has to live. This is very frustrating.

Hi Barbara:
My father has dementia but at this point does not realize anything is wrong. He Delusions rooted in the past and people secretly messing up the house. At night, he know his wife is important to him but does not want to sleep in the same bed.
My mother has severe dementia at this point. She does not want to eat a lot except maybe peanut. She is trusting her delusions more than real people and great fear issue on being alone and screaming bout “wanting my mommy” when alone. The problem, right now is she is fighting to go to sleep what ever we try to do. The other issue is that within 30 minutes she does remember and interprets it wrong. Is this turning to the worse?

I know we have basically have to sue for Guardianship to get them into assisted living because my father simple refuses to point of conflict.
- Ws

Hi Stephanie, From your description of your father’s progress it does appear he has entered the dying process and is probably days to a week or so from death. How alert he is and how much reserve weight he has on his body will determine how long it will take for him to leave his body. Have you read my booklet Gone From My Sight? It will give you further guidance on what is happening and what to look for. My blessings are with you and your family. Barbara

Hi Linda, sounds like you have your hands full with aging parents. With your father you will not know when he has entered the dying process until he is not eating, no matter how hard other’s try to feed him. He is still eating so he has probably not entered the dying process. It is understandable that it is difficult for your mother watching him decline and dealing with his dementia. Life is what it is for her and whether she accepts or understands isn’t going to change what is happening. Your mother is probably dealing with this challenge with her husband in the same way she has dealt with other challenges in her life. Remember she is who she is and that is how she will approach her husband’s illness and approaching death. How will you handle this dual challenge is probably (also) in the same way you have dealt with your parents in the past. We don’t seem to change much as we walk this path called living.
My blessings are with you and your family. Barbara

Hi my father has alzheimers and he has stopped eating he says he is hungry but he cant even drink cuz he chokes so hospice has told us not to feed him. He has not eaten in4 days. We are now giving him water through a syringe . he feels very cold to the touch. He has not been able to get out of bed for 2 days do you think he could pass any day now

My father is 93 and in a nursing home with last stages of Alzheimers, has had it for at least 6 years.
Is unable to do anything for himself, but is still eating mashed food when fed.
How can we know how much longer he can last,and when Hospice should be called in.
My 90 year old mother is also in same nursing home but does not have Alzheimers and is having great difficulty dealing with his disease.
How do we get her to coup with his decline and eventually his death?

Hi Allison, about comments about your step dad: I just don’t have enough information to say anything about his illness but I can say that at 82 our bodies just don’t have the defenses our younger body did. When things start going wrong at 82 they often escalate and end up with us not being fixable. It is like a domino effect, one thing starts and many things follow. With all of the issues you have described I wonder if it isn’t time to stop trying to fix him and concentrate on letting him enjoy and live the life he has comfortably. Stop all the medical attention, in and out of hospitals and doctor’s offices, and be at home and comfortable. Something to think about. My thoughts and blessings are with you and your family. Barbara

My stepdad is 82 and been diagnosed with vascular dementia for 10 years!…..he has a lot of other complications as well, diabetes being one…….he’s had many TIAs and is now on blood thinning tablets, which he’d been taken off as he has a small internal bleed, had it for years, but drs don’t want to open him up as his body full of infection, so he’d have to sign a disclaimer…as I said very complicated, had many cameras scans etc but nothing shown up? ….any way I’m sure he’s had another TIA, he’s not wanting to eat, drink..sleeps 90% of the time and now has a fishy smelling breath? We’re got another appt at drs on Friday after he’d had more bloods taken but apparently they were fine….my mum and I are at the end of our tether …feeling helpless….any ideas? X

Oh Kitty, such a difficult question to answer, “What is to come and when should I call hospice?” As I’ve said dementia does not play by the dying process rules. It isn’t until she is not eating enough to keep her body alive that approaching death signs begin. As long as she eats when you feed her she can probably be getting enough calories to maintain her body. When to call hospice? I would call hospices now for a consult. Start your hospice “shopping” now. Interview, ask questions (see my blog on questions to ask) and then selectively make your choice. Some hospices take people with dementia earlier than others, that is why you interview several. Know that if a hospice takes your mom, and my thought is someone will, know that your mom could be alive by the end of six months. The hospice will take her off the program if she shows no continued signs of declining. She can be brought back on the hospice program at a later date when she begins to show signs of further decline.
I know this sounds daunting but it is worth the effort to start your inquires now. There may be a hospice that will take her now and the support they will give you can be very helpful. Blessings to you and your mother. Barbara

Hi Barbara,

I live with my 79 year old mom who I believe has exhibited signs of dementia for 15 years, diagnosed for 6 years. She has recently started to sleep in until 11:00 am or later and when she sleeps her muscles twitch and jerk. She talks to the tv as it’s a person and is always surrounded by children. She believes all of her blankets are children or animals and it’s difficult to keep her covered up and comfortable. My mom also suffers and was diagnosed with sight issues caused by her disease and to my knowledge does not see much of anything. My mom can speak but sometimes it’s in her own language and or to someone that only she sees in the room. She cannot carry on a normal conversation and babbles. Her appetite is okay but she would not eat or drink if not offered sustenance. My mom is a beautiful woman and at times looks normal. I take my mom to the neurologist and her personal physician on a regular basis. My question is, what is to come and when should I call hospice?

Hi Lynn, “eating almost nothing” are the operative words here. How much is “almost nothing”? The less active a person is the less calories they need to maintain their body. It is when the intake of food is less than the body needs to maintain itself that the dying process begins for a person with dementia. I am sorry I can’t be more specific. Dementia is frustrating on so many level. How much longer can this go on is one of the many frustrations. Blessings! Barbara

Hi Sylvia, to answer your question of whether I have a website about vascular dementia: I do not have a specific website on dementia. I have a booklet “How Do I Know You?” that is about dementia at end of life. Unfortunately, there isn’t a “ timeline" for dementia at end of life. Dementia, no matter the specific medical name, doesn’t play by the rules of approaching death that other diseases follow. It isn’t until the person is not eating enough calories to keep the body functioning that end of life patterns begin. I am sorry I can’t be more specific. Dementia of any kind is extremely challenging for those involved in the love, life and care of someone afflicted with this devastating disease. My blessings are with you and your family. Barbara.

My sister was diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia 2 years ago this month. With what we now know, she has actually had this much longer. We offer her food and drink, but She is eating almost nothing, same with drinking, last BP was 80/60. She can barely sit up, drools a lot and can’t seem to swallow well. She can’t communicate much, but if we tell her we love her, she does respond with love you too. I believe she is now in the dying stage. She also occasionally cries as if you knows exactly what is happening to her.

Do you have a website or timeline that describes end of Life with Vascular Dementia?

Thank you

Hi Dorry, In regards to your letter about your mother’s illness and decline: Yes, it does seem, based on your description of your mother’s illness, that she has entered the dying process. Use the Hospice staff as your support system. Ask them any questions you have and just talk with them about your feelings, fears, and concerns. They are there for you as much as for your mom. You might find reading my two booklets, Gone From My Sight and How Do I know You? helpful in guiding you through this challenging time. My blessings are with you. Barbara

My 77 year old Mom has had Parkinson’s for many years. 6 years ago she had back to back strokes due to undiagnosed A-Fib. She fought her way back but had limited mobility and speech after the strokes. In October of 2018 she fell and broke her hip. She had surgery and was sent to rehab. She started hallucinating and becoming agitated at the rehab. She was tested for a UTI and was treated for it, but the hallucinations and confusion continued. She completely lost her appetite and was given medications to make her hungry but they did not work. She was not able to participate in the OT and PT fully due to lack of energy. The rehab released her home and told us that this was her new baseline. In the past 4 months since the fall she has lost over 50 lbs due to inability or lack of interest to eat much. Speech therapists have worked with her swallowing but she cannot even tolerate baby food. Her Neurologist feels she might have Lewy Body Dementia or Parkinson’s Dementia as she is in and out of confusion and hallucinating. She sleeps most of the time and is confused often. She is bedridden for the most part and needs assistance with all of her needs. Hospice is now in the home. As her daughter I have hoped all of these months that somehow things will turn around but I fear that she is dying and am trying to mentally prepare as well as be strong for her.

Oh Teresa, taking care of someone with dementia is a heart wrenching job, both physically and emotionally. Caregivers often suffer more than the person they are caring for. In regards to when your mother may die: I just don’t know. As long as she is eating there is no way to know if she has entered the dying process. The signs of approaching death from disease or old age just don’t apply to someone with dementia. You are right to be concerned about your dad. See that he gets support and some time away from the responsibilities of your mom’s care. An afternoon out, a full nights sleep without having to wonder about her. It is important to keep him healthy and rested. There may come a time when you need to consider a memory care facility for your mom, in order to take care of your father. My blessings are with you and your family. Barbara

My step mother has been suffering from dementia or Alzheimer’s for years now. She broke her femur about 5 yrs ago and hasn’t walked since. She’s constantly calling out for people who are dead, thinks she see’s children in the house and doesn’t remember her last name or age. She cries and moans every morning saying she’s in pain. If I ask her why she moans, she says, “it’s what I do in the morning”. She’s 4’ 10" and can’t weigh more than 80 lbs.
I’d like a ballpark on how long she’ll last. My Dad’s life is nonexistent until then.

Hi Louise, about speaking in your sister’s room while she was non responsive. You are right it really wasn’t appropriate. Even if a person is non responsive, even if they have dementia and are presumed to not understand, on some level, they can probably hear and we don’t know about understanding. That said it was the physician’s responsibility to recognize the inappropriateness, not yours. What was done is done. You can’t change it, just learn from it. No use carrying those feelings around. I suggest you write your sister a letter. Put down on paper all your thoughts, feelings, tears, regrets. Not just about that particular incident but tell her all that is in your heart about her, the good and the challenging. No one else needs to know. It is between you and your sister. When you have finished, burn the letter, and toss the ashes to the wind. Know that at some level, somewhere, your sister will receive that letter and understand what is in your heart. Then let is go. My blessings are with you. Barbara

My older sister recently passed away from Dementia, she was only 62 – she had juvenile dementia that may have been as a result of years of anti-psychotic prescribed drugs rom an early age. In her final days myself and my other sister had a meeting with her Dr and now I feel incredibly guilty and cant stop thinking about it – that we were all talking about her condition in her room, I can’t remember if we were talking quietly or not and now I feel I said things about going to hospital, or when would the palliative care team intervine etc, Now I feel so awful that even though she was in a deep sleep (and had been most of the weekend and the day we saw her) I can’t help think that she may have heard us. She hadn’t spoken for over 2 years or more and was totally dependent on the care staff for feeding and washing etc, She had swallowing difficulties. She passed away the following day. I did see her on the Monday evening after the DR spoke with us but I still can’t get it out of my head that I was talking to the Dr about her condition in her room……….

Hi Alex, it does sounds as if your mom is entering the dying process. Exactly how long it will take is another question. If a person doesn’t eat they won’t live but the time frame depends on how much they are eating and drinking and how much body fat they have to start with. Offer her food but if she isn’t interested or doesn’t want it, that’s okay. You don’t need to force her to eat. You might find my booklets Gone From My Sight, How Do I Know You? and The Eleventh Hour helpful as a guide during this time. Use this time to talk with her, touch her (if she is comfortable with touch), be with her as much as you can, love her. Even though she has dementia and appears to not understand or acknowledge you a part of her knows and hears you. Make this time special. My blessings are with you and your mom. Barbara

Hi, my mom has had dementia for about 8 years now. For the last month she is no longer able to walk, or even stand up. Feeding her is difficult, and she sleeps most of the day and night. She’s 89. The doctor suggests her vitals are OK. We keep feeding her when she will accept food but as I say, she is no longer even capable of standing. Should I prepare or can this go on indefinitely as long as she is eating and drinking sporadically?

Oh, Judith, what a heart wrenching story that all of you have lived with. Your mom has had such a struggle. Her poor body has been through so much. I do believe she is preparing to die. Have you thought of putting her on hospice so you all can have the guidance and support hospice knows how to give? They can assess her medications and any treatments she is receiving as to the appropriateness for someone approaching the end of life. You will find my booklets Gone From My Sight and The Eleventh Hour very helpful during this time. If I can be of help use my personal email barbara@bkbooks.com. My blessings are with you and your family. Barbara

Dear Barbara,
My mom was diagnosed with Fournier Gangrene on November 2017. She remained in the hospital 4 months where she underwent many surgeries to remove the tissues that were no good. She had high sugar levels and hypertension. The wound could not be closed because of low levels of albumin. In the hospital she got septicemia, pneumonia, stomach infection due to antibiotics, delirium (she was under strong medications for pain) and a stroke. She left the hospital on February 2018, but since then she’s been at home in bed. Lost all her mobility, and she has a tube to feed her going to her stomach directly. 3 months ago she was still communicating, little but still tried. It’s been 3 months where it seems she is hibernating. She sleeps all day and night, and barely says a syllable when spoken to. She does not make eye contact when spoken to, but basically can’t even open her eyes.
I don’t think she even recognizes anyone.
She has low sodium levels…and sugar keeps going under 70..
What should we expect?
Please advise….
Is she coming to an end…?

Dear Margaret, am sorry to hear of your mother’s serious fall. At 93 her recovery is iffy. Generally when the elderly fall , if they recover, they are never as functioning as they were before the fall. I cannot say if your mother has entered the dying process. I don’t have enough medical information to make comments with certainty but with her age and dementia your mother’s decline is more probable than recovery. I am sorry. It is never easy to have your mom die, no matter her age. Use this time to love her. Talk with her as if she understands, spend time with her. Use this time as a gift. Blessings! Barbara

Hi Barbara. My mother has had dementia for maybe 3 yrs now and is 93. She fell 3 weeks and broke her femur/hipand her tumerus/shoulder was crushed. She was operated on and now bedridden. Seems to be better in mornings but closes eyes from midday and mumbles thereafter. Is she dying or just in a slow process of recovery. Thank you for your help

Margaret

Hi DMR, you need to get your aunt to her doctor. At 89 you just don’t know what could result from the fall. Even though she doesn’t want to go to the doctor, take her to the doctor. Sometimes we have to be assertive for another’s well being, particularly if dementia is involved. Blessings! Barbara

My aunt ,89years old, tripped on 8th Nov, 2018. There after her lower back is paining. Now she is doesn’t go for a stroll and remains at home only. She sleeps whole day and does not eat much, also she is reluctant to take medicines and visit Doctor.

Hi Lisa, I am not sure what your mom talking to magazines means as part of her dementia but I can say that most of understanding the world of dementia that our loved ones live in is confusing to us. People live in an alternate reality that doesn’t comport to ours. It sounds like your mom is in the early changes. Do you have support and guidance, reading materials, a support group? It will help you navigate the challenging road ahead if you have information and support. Try the National Alzheimer Association in your city to find resources. My thoughts and blessings are with you. Barbara