Always Offer, Never Force: Food at the End of Life
One of the most challenging areas for caregivers is the role of food in the dying process. When caring for someone at the end of life, new rules apply for eating and not eating. With this in mind, I have written Always Offer, Never Force, a guide to these “new rules.” Always Offer, Never Force explains eating and not eating as end of life approaches. It is a “why” and “what to do about it” booklet. It is short, large-print, and direct, yet gentle.
Providing knowledge is 90% of end-of-life work.
- Always Offer, Never Force is a companion to Gone From My Sight and The Eleventh Hour.
- Include it with your initial handout materials.
- Read it with families and caregivers as a teaching and reassuring tool.
- Add your company name and logo sticker as a marketing tool.
- It is not just for hospice use but also for palliative care programs, end-of-life doulas, and other end of life programs.
Food plays many roles in our lives. We socialize over food and express our emotions—both well-being and distress—through eating or not eating. This is a normal part of everyday living. We eat to live, and when the body is preparing to die, it stops eating, but most people don’t know this.
Empower your team with the knowledge they need. Order Always Offer, Never Force today to support your caregivers and families through the end-of-life journey.
Frequently bought together:
- Reviews
- Questions
United StatesAlways learn more
I am a hospice nurse and I have been over the last almost 30 years. I have always. Used Barbara Karnes books in my practice. Mostly gone from my site is the one I’ve used the most and the 11th hour. But I decided to go ahead and purchase the series plus the one about feeding the patient. Which, as we all know, if we do work with Hospice, that’s the main thing that the family members want to know is “how do we feed them?” They’re so concerned about them eating because, their whole lives they have been taught that you have to eat to get better. It’s quite difficult seeing your loved one decline and change, both physically and cognitively. These little books are the perfect teaching and learning tools for families and patients working through the end of life journey a little easier. Thank you Barbara!
BK Books
Hi Deborah, Thank you for the work you are doing in hospice. 30 years! You are up there with me. Blessings! Barbara
United StatesThe Biggest Challenge for Caregivers
In my 9 years of hospice experience, there is no single subject more stressful for caregivers than food and fluids at end of life. “Always Offer, Never Force” is a fantastic title for a book on the subject. It sends a clear message for the reader before they even open the book. My agency will be using these books en mass to provide some straight forward, and simple guidance on what to expect for nutrition as the end of life approaches. Thank you, Barbara, for taking one of the hardest experiences of your life, and using it to, once again, help hospice agencies and caregivers be better.
United StatesExcellent reminder worth sharing
when attending a patient in a nursing home with family present at a time when a meal is being served, as the patient refuses to eat and the family is concerned their loved one is not eating much. Always Offer, Never Force is a wonderful tool for the family to know. Was useful for my visit time today, with a family member present.
BK Books
Hi Marilyn, thank you for sharing. I'm pleased to see my booklet at work helping reduce fears and concerns. Blessings to you in the work you are doing Barbara
United StatesAlways Offer, Never Force HELPFUL
I found this Handbook to be extremely useful. My sister died from Cutaneous Angiosarcoma late last year. She wanted to live so badly that we felt she should eat so that she could live. The progression outlined in this handbook is spot on, and it certainly helped me to serve her better as a caregiver. It offered understanding and remove some of the unknown about the end of life process for us. I am so grateful to Barbara Karnes for providing this and her other handbooks to caregivers of the dying.
BK Books
Hi Allison, I'm pleased Always Offer, Never Force was helpful to you and your family during your sister's dying process. Knowing what is normal and what to do while all is unfolding helps with the challenge of providing good care. Blessings to you. Barbara
United StatesAlways Offer, Never Force
One of the most challenging aspects of caregiving at the end of life is when your care partner stops eating. It's a fundamental human need, and depending on your familial relationship with food, it can hold a much deeper significance. Beyond sustenance, it can symbolize love, joy, celebration, and even sadness. However, there comes a point when the act of eating comes to a halt. This is where Barbara Karnes' insights come in. In Barbara's new booklet, "Always Offer, Never Force," she delves into why your care partner stops eating in a way that no doctor ever will. She offers a deeper understanding of the situation, showing that stopping eating at the end of life is not something a feeding tube will fix. Barbara is the kind, compassionate, intellectual friend everyone wishes they had. She gently and clearly explains what's happening inside the body, providing simple guidelines for when someone is in the beginning stages of the dying process before the inevitable rejection begins through what occurs when eating ceases. She also clarifies how this rejection of food is part of the dying process and even breaks down the progression and order of rejected foods. Barbara's insights provide practical, empowering information and offer comforting reassurance to caregivers and family members who are witnessing this. It's crucial to understand that this is not a personal failure; it is a natural, inevitable part of the dying process. This booklet is one more in Barbara's collection of indispensable resources for end-of-life care. Rosanne Corcoran Daughterhood, The Podcast
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