The Gift of Time

I, Barbara, am not afraid of being dead. I have a belief system that says “When you are dead you are in a better place.” I also think being dead is easy and being alive is hard work. So I am not afraid of being dead but I am really nervous about the time in my life from right now to when I am dead. I am actually more afraid of dying than I am of being dead.

Recognizing this part of myself I thought if God, which is what I call my Higher Power, were to say to me, “You’re going to die like this (on a particular day, at a particular time and this is how you are going to die)” I would relax. I would put my fears of what kind of scary, unexpected death life has in store for me aside and live a freer life. When a physician says, “I can’t fix you. Go home. Put you affairs in order. You are going to die sometime soon” that message is the same as my fantasy. You are being told when you are going to die. Yet most often people stop really living and concentrate on their life ending. Since we are all going to die someday, being told you can’t be fixed could be considered a gift. A gift of time to say and an opportunity to do those things that are important.

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