This week I’m welcoming once again my recurring guest Barbara Karnes RN who is a hospice nurse, author, thought leader and expert on end-of-life care and the dynamics of dying. She is the author of Gone from My Sight: The Dying Experience, also known in the hospice world as “the little blue book,” which remains the leading resource on the market today educating families on the signs of approaching death. She discusses the most common questions and concerns that arise for caregivers as their loved one goes through the final stages of life.
This episode includes:
- Stages of the natural dying process that are commonly observed
- Fear of death can interfere with meaning at the end of life
- How movies contribute to misunderstandings about the dying process
- The importance of education for the general public about the signs and changes of natural dying
- Gradual death has a process that begins 2-6 months before death
- The first stage of dying is marked by changes in sleep, socialization and food intake which become more significant with time
- The “labor” of dying begins 2-3 weeks before death
- Mottling of skin is a sign of the final stage along with changes in breathing
- Being at the bedside of someone who is dying forces us to be in the present moment
- Why it’s difficult to predict exactly when a person will die even though we know what signs to watch for
2 comments
Jennifer Howland
Dear Barbara,
Not only did I find your booklet terribly useful(given to me by a Hospice worker), but it helped me feel complete when my Mom passed away. Then I joined a grief group. While I realize grief is different for everyone, and, having said that, do you think that the grieving for a spouse is different from that of a family member if the circumstances were natural? I found in my grieving group that although the same amount of time had passed, those grieving for spouses seemed more painful and long-lasting than for me. I was wondering if you had any observations.
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BK Books replied:
Hi Jennifer, yes, there seems to be an added burden to grief for widows and widowers. I actually have a blog coming out on that very subject in the near future. Learning how to be a “me” instead of a “we” is an additional grief challenge. Blessings to you in your grief journey. Barbara
Dear Barbara,
Not only did I find your booklet terribly useful(given to me by a Hospice worker), but it helped me feel complete when my Mom passed away. Then I joined a grief group. While I realize grief is different for everyone, and, having said that, do you think that the grieving for a spouse is different from that of a family member if the circumstances were natural? I found in my grieving group that although the same amount of time had passed, those grieving for spouses seemed more painful and long-lasting than for me. I was wondering if you had any observations.
———
BK Books replied:
Hi Jennifer, yes, there seems to be an added burden to grief for widows and widowers. I actually have a blog coming out on that very subject in the near future. Learning how to be a “me” instead of a “we” is an additional grief challenge. Blessings to you in your grief journey. Barbara
Rene Cooper
Thank you Barbara for all that you have said and wrote… My husband passed away recently and you gave me Clarity on questions I needed answered. I am moving forward with knowing what was happening with the process of death
My husband had Seizures with Alzheimer’s Disease. Sending much love your way.
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BK Books replied:
Rene, I am glad you found guidance and support from my writings. You might find my booklet *My Friend, I Care *helpful during your grief journey. Blessings to you. Barbara
Thank you Barbara for all that you have said and wrote… My husband passed away recently and you gave me Clarity on questions I needed answered. I am moving forward with knowing what was happening with the process of death
My husband had Seizures with Alzheimer’s Disease. Sending much love your way.
———
BK Books replied:
Rene, I am glad you found guidance and support from my writings. You might find my booklet *My Friend, I Care *helpful during your grief journey. Blessings to you. Barbara