End of Life Expert and Hospice Pioneer, Barbara Karnes, RN answers questions from death care workers at Interim HealthCare, San Diego, CA. Barbara explains how to care for the dying, how the caregiver should care for themselves and how her award winning booklets on educating families on what to expect during the dying process of a loved one came to be.
My father died from kidney failure technically?.. Due to anti biotics. Kidneys took.a hit.. He got hospital aquired pneumonia also.. He wasn’t taking medication etc. I thought a u.t.i. But Get we got know.. 2014 it occurred he awoke. Asked for water. But nip by.mouth!. I was exacerbated I feel I did it.. U no?!.. So also be had a horrible grimace n liked in terror like he couldn’t get air.. Like just no oxygen in air or something.. The mouth grimace.. The open eyes wide. The grip strong to the end.. He held on tight. Turned toward me. I am sure that was mom.of.death…it was horrific..i.didn’t know he could had a given or haldol??!!!.. This was in Larbert forth valley hosp.. It could be been encephalitis initially.but they didn’t do a spinal.. If they had let me be with him. It would be made a difference!.n too his his too!…he had glaucoma.so eyes closed!..hand to mouth ok not able could raise elbow.with holding he could scratch nose. Responsive?.to.me yes.to.a blackness.he had gone blind. N bright light in the eyes. He wd.answer me.look.to me.eyes open.if.tutting.staff.wd.let us out the lights off!!.n.i was also witness to him screaming bein hoisted. And an auxiliary wd.have him screaming loud too!.. N he was labouring to breath or spk. As he had so.Erin g wrong.affecting vocal cords.so quiet voice.no air behind.. Whispers to me. To end only looks to me. N I read face expressions.. I wish he’d been monitored better!.n treated better. And not handled one nurrse.can move him one ft.up the bed.alone..
BK Books replied:
Oh Donna, I’m so sorry you and your father had such a challenging time as the end of his life approached. Not very good memories for you. You might write your father a letter and tell him all your thoughts about your relationship with him and how the end of his life has affected you. Put it all down on paper, tears included. Burn the letter and scatter the ashes to the wind. Let how well you live your life now be the testament to your love for him. Blessings! Barbara
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